Supershorts: On union behaviour

Tana Umaga. Photo / Dean Purcell

The state of the union, the greatest trotter of all, and golfers meet a sand trap to die for

There was a feeling among New Zealand's top rugby referees that the New Zealand Rugby Union didn't really have their back after the long-serving Bryce Lawrence was disgracefully hung out to dry with little official support following the 2011 World Cup. They can rest easy now seeing as how the union has really thrown the book at Tana Umaga following his poor behaviour towards Glen Jackson last week... Wait a minute.

... without fear or favour

Of course, being a former All Black captain and the coach of a team defending the Shield for the first time in their history didn't play any part.

Without fear or favour and all that.

All a flutter

Great moments in America's Cup commentary.

Peter Montgomery, 1995: "The America's Cup is now New Zealand's Cup."

Peter Montgomery, 2000: "It's black to the future."

Martin Tasker, 2013: "I held my breath so long I'm light-headed."

Just a thought, one of those utterances is less likely to earn a plaque on the walls of the Maritime Museum.

From rugby history to notoriety

A colleague was studiously researching some Ranfurly Shield history when he came across a catchily titled academic paper entitled: "Professionalization of New Zealand Rugby Union: Historical Background, Structural Changes and Competitive Balance." It's a breezy little read, focusing on "the transformation of rugby union from an amateur to a professional sport since 1995".

However, as engrossing as rugby's structural changes and macro-economic models are, it was the authors who caught the eye. We're pretty sure co-author, Clayton R. Weatherston, now a convicted murderer, won't be attending too many footy games for the next decade or so.

Million dollar horse

Courtesy of the Daily Mail, tomorrow marks the 45th anniversary of Cardigan Bay pushing his stake winnings past the US$1 million mark, the first horse in the history of trotting to do so. He appeared on the Ed Sullivan Show, where the Rolling Stones first made their names in the US, before returning home.

Sand trap bites back

A part-time golfer, Edward Lunger, is apparently asking for US$2.7 million ($3.3 million) in damages from a golf resort in Cancun, Mexico, after being bitten by a crocodile. Lunger was enjoying 18 holes with a friend, according to Metro, when a wayward shot found the sandy hazard.

Jumping down into a sand trap Lunger suddenly found himself confronted by an angry female croc who snapped her jaws around the golfer's arm. His friend came to the rescue with a large boulder and managed to drag him to safety, but not before he'd lost his middle digit and most of his ring finger.

Lunger is suing the club for failing to display warning signs, but in a bizarre twist, the resort is reportedly insisting that the pair brought the attack upon themselves by provoking the crocodile with a chicken.

Bet hard to swallow

From the Washington Post comes a story of a fan who was so certain the Redskins would beat the Philadelphia Eagles in their first NFL game of the season, he bet his boss he would eat his beard if they lost. They lost.

"I had to eat some of my own beard cuz the redskins lost yesterday," Redskins fan and LA-based comedian Jason Pickar tweeted. "It is really not very pleasant to eat one's own beard," he later tweeted, when he had video proof.