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Home / Sport

Supershorts: NBA superstar needs geography lesson

NZ Herald
31 Oct, 2013 04:30 PM4 mins to read

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The brains behind Calgary Flames: A Calgary Flames usher sports head paint as a Halloween costume during an NHL hockey game in Calgary, Canada. Photo / AP

The brains behind Calgary Flames: A Calgary Flames usher sports head paint as a Halloween costume during an NHL hockey game in Calgary, Canada. Photo / AP

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NBA superstar needs geography lesson, baby factory starts and Red Sox cost a bomb

Barkley makes Charlie of himself

Charles Barkley was an NBA superstar with one of the great nicknames, The Round Mound of Rebound. The TNT analyst happens to be impressed with a certain Oklahoma City Thunder rookie. "Let me tell you something, the big Australian kid, I forget his name right now..." Barkley blurted out on TNT's season preview show. "Adams, Steven Adams," Barkley repeated after some help. "[The Thunder] need a big guy who can score. I think Adams is going to have a terrific rookie year." Australian? AUSTRALIAN!? He's ours, Sir Charles.

Baby, this is a team sport

Kristin Cavallari and her Chicago Bears quarterback husband Jay Cutler are one step closer to having their own football team, claimed a breathless report from the Associated Press. Cavallari is pregnant with their second baby. The 26-year-old former star of MTV's Laguna Beach and The Hills confirmed the news on Twitter. Let's look at this in a bit more detail. You need 11 players minimum for a football team, but with offence and defence pretty much split these days, you really need 22. Then there's special teams, so in effect you're looking at 30 players for a standard side, not including injury reserves. So yes, technically they're one step closer, but some way off making this an even remotely useful analogy.

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Sox-ing to ticketholders

Game 6 of the World Series, played yesterday at Boston's venerable Fenway Park, was a sought-after ticket, with local fans reaching for the chance of seeing their beloved Red Sox winning their first World Series at home since 1918 (they won in 2004 and 2007, but both wins came on opposition turf). Just getting in the building was going to cost, on average US$2186, according to TiqIq.com. The cheapest seat in the house for Game 6, a right field standing-room ticket, cost $849 on Stubhub.com. The most expensive ticket listed on Stubhub was a field box seat listed at an incredible $42,079. Even the chance to watch it at the Cask 'n Flagon, a pub near the ground, was going to cost $600. No one will be complaining about price after their 6-1 series-clinching win.

Red-faced and sooooo wrong

The life of a sports columnist is brutal, but if the economy-class flights are bad, nothing is quite so perilous as the pre-season prediction, as the Boston Globe's Dan Shaughnessy has just found out. In a piece headlined "It's hard to get excited about these Red Sox", Shaughnessy wrote: "But here's the reality, people: The 2013 Red Sox might be really bad. Worse, they might be really boring. Anybody talking about baseball in your neighbourhood these days? ... It is difficult to pick them anywhere but last... Finally, it's tough to feel good about Ortiz. He turns 38 this year, and is coming off an Achilles' tendon injury."

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That'd be David Ortiz, who reached base an astonishing 19 of 25 times at the plate during Boston's win. Nice one, Dan. We've all been wrong (true story), but seldom as spectacularly.

Vinnie still puts frighteners on

This from Metro's Oddballs column:

"Vinnie Jones still obviously frightens the living daylights out of us after the former Crazy Gang hard man was voted 'football's scariest player'.

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"The now-retired testicle-tampering midfield destroyer beat off a number of current Premier League ghouls to the title - and even fended off the Beady-Eyed Beast of Cork, Roy Keane.

"In the Halloween-themed poll conducted by Betfair, Jones garnered 33 per cent of the vote, with the haunting presence of former Manchester United hatchet man Keane second on 21 per cent.

"Jones' fidget with Paul Gascoigne's crown jewels, when the latter was at Newcastle, still gives Toon supporters nightmares evidently - the betting exchange revealed that 43 per cent of North-East participants plumped for the ex-Wimbledon man.

"Everton's former Frankenstein-like forward Duncan Ferguson, who traumatised defenders throughout his career, was third (14 per cent), while the vampiric Luis Suarez was fourth (5 per cent)."

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