Detroit Lions players and fans brave a snow storm in the NFL this week. Photo / AP
Cold hard facts - So in Dunedin, one of New Zealand's "major" centres, we had balmy weather for four days and barely a soul turned out to watch New Zealand fall just short of beating the West Indies. Yet here, in the middle of a Michigan snowstorm, these Detroit folk show just what it means to be a fan.
Jingle hells - Reports leaking out of Parnell suggest that New Zealand Olympic Committee staff are singing Christmas carols at work to lift spirits. Shocked passers-by have been subjected to the strains of Joy to the World, O Come All Ye Faithful and the oxymoronic Silent Night lilting out the windows. This is, we've heard, a shameless attempt to impress new IOC boss Thomas Bach, brother of Johann Sebastian, composer of such juke-box standards as St Matthew Passion and The Well-Tempered Clavier. It's a non-stop party under the five-ringed circus.
Formula One points a farce - Just about everybody believes Formula One's move to implement double points for 2014's season-ending race in Abu Dhabi is a cynical piece of rule-changing aimed at trying to curb Sebastian Vettel's title-winning ways. Lotus took to Facebook to suggest other ways in which the F1 Championship could be jazzed up. Here are two of the best:
• Any driver celebrating his birthday on the day of qualifying will be granted pole position, 10 points, and a Ferrari garage tour.
• Any drivers named Sebastian Vettel will complete their own pit stops without assistance from their mechanics.
Rocket scientist at Man City - You haven't really made it unless you've got a parody Twitter account so Manchester City's James Milner should be feeling pretty chuffed about life. Not known as one of the more charismatic characters in the game, Milner's tweeting doppelganger goes by the handle @BoringMilner. After City came from 0-2 down to beat European champions Bayern Munich 3-2 away - Milner scored the winner - he let his excitement get the better of him. Some choice examples:
"Pellegrini just said, 'Well played, James, good goal.' I said, 'Thank you, I enjoyed scoring it'."
"When we were 2-0 down I thought we might lose but we scored three times and won 3-2 instead."
And the coup de grace...
"I thought I had missed refuse collection day whilst I was in Munich but I didn't. My bins are actually collected tomorrow instead."
Concussion? What concussion? - We take concussion and its potential after-effects very seriously here. In the US, the NFL's response has not been quite as stringent, as this satirical piece on the website Onion shows.
"The NFL unveiled a new concussion test Monday that will require players suspected of suffering a head injury to produce an audible grunting sound and maintain a dazed expression for several consecutive seconds before receiving clearance to return to a game ... a player would also be authorised to take part in football activities once they showed they could successfully perform physical movements such as dropping to the ground and slowly rolling in the grass while clutching their head."
This is probably the same test used on George Smith during the third Lions-Wallabies test this year.
Ron Burgundy first with the news - If you've got a spare seven minutes, check out the YouTube video of Anchorman Ron Burgundy's interview with future Hall of Fame quarterback Peyton Manning:
ARB: "You've played against some tremendous defensive players over the years and I have to ask you, what's it like getting sacked by Merlin Olsen*?"
PM: "Merlin Olsen? Ron, I'm pretty sure I was 4 years old when Merlin Olsen retired."
ARB: "Maybe, maybe not. Regardless, I was actually thinking about the time I was tackled by Merlin at his bungalow in Burbank. What a night."
* Olsen was a 14-time Pro Bowler for the Los Angeles Rams who made the Hall of Fame. He played farmer Jonathan Garvey on Little House on the Prairie. He died in 2010.