Supershorts: And now, a word from ...

Rebecca Adlington in her other bathroom. Photo / APN

Words of wisdom from the soccer field, baring all for France and Aussies set booze rules.

Bill Shankley left us with: "Some people believe football is a matter of life and death, I am very disappointed with that attitude. I can assure you it is much, much more important than that." Sir Alex Ferguson gave us: "I've never played for a draw in my life." And Jock Stein: "The secret of being a good manager is to keep the six players who hate you away from the five who are undecided."

So how did Ricki Herbert leave us after eight years at the helm of the national team. Here's his sign-off piece of wisdom when talking to Sky's Andrew Dewhurst: "[I'll go back to] teaching grass roots kids at my own Ricki Herbert Academy proudly supported by a top primary sponsor called Water Buddies." Thanks Ricko, we'll miss those famous calls to arms.

Just the facts

The post-match on-field interview is a difficult art to master and it can only be hoped that one day the amiable Dennis Katsanos gets the hang of it.As if All Whites supporters hadn't suffered enough during the 9-3 aggregate drubbing at the hands of Mexico, they then had to listen to Katsanos ask Mexico goalkeeper Moises Munoz if the team had enjoyed "the hospitality in Wellington". You can't pay enough for that sort of analysis.

Off with the gear ...

At least two Gauls were left red-faced when France overcame a 0-2 deficit to beat Ukraine 3-0 and qualify for the World Cup. Canal+ Weather presenter Doria Tillier promised to present the forecast naked if France qualified. But the eagerly awaited warm front turned into a damp squib. The former model and actress gave her report wearing only a pair of boots while running around a pastoral green landscape, but was far enough away from the camera to maintain her modesty.

... but out of luck

Her embarrassment was matched by that of French porn producer Marc Dorcel. He offered football fans free access to his x-rated website if France qualified. Ninety happy minutes later, thousands of libidinous fans were logging on but the site crashed after 45 seconds. Dorcel said he would make good on his promise when it was, ahem, back up.

Rebecca's big toilet

She's a national treasure in the UK after winning two gold medals at the 2008 Beijing Olympics, but Rebecca Adlington has caused a whole different type of splash on a reality show in Blighty when she confessed to urinating in swimming pools, declared an ever-so-shocked Daily Mail.

Wrong sway, cobber

The Australian Olympic Committee this week ruled that athletes will be allowed to consume alcohol at upcoming games, but swaying, staggering, and having rambling conversations will not be tolerated.

Under the new rules, athletes will be barred from the Olympic Village for being "argumentative; bad tempered, aggressive or using offensive language; swaying, staggering or falling down; speech which is loud and boisterous; having rambling conversations; having difficulty in paying attention or comprehending others".

This follows last year's disastrous Olympic campaign, which was marked by a staggering amount of rambling conversations.

The next Sachin

Rizvi-Springfield skipper Prithvi Shaw slammed a world record 546 runs against luckless St Francis D'Assisi in the Harris Shield tournament match in Mumbai on Wednesday. The 15-year-old's quintuple century 546 came in 367 minutes and took 330 balls, including 85 fours and five sixes. It was Harris Shield that brought Sachin Tendulkar into national prominence after a partnership of 664 with Vinod Kambli.