Supershorts: 8 April

Mrs Daly's revelations and the whereabouts of Poonam Pandey

Mrs Daly I
John Daly's ex-wife Sherrie reveals all about life on tour in her new book Teed Off: My Life as a Player's Wife on the PGA Tour.

Players particularly looked forward to playing on the Southwind course in Memphis, Sherrie says.

"There were a couple of girls that worked out there, cart girls who sold drinks and snacks to the members," she says, "and they did some favours on the side.

"I'd been told that there was a girl who'd give golfers [oral sex] when they got to the 16th hole," she writes. "Apparently, all they had to do was pay $300 when they got there, and she'd take them into the bushes."

There's no word in the book on how her hubby fared when playing the 16th.

Mrs Daly II
Life as Mrs John Daly was not without its trials. After she found him in action with another woman she hit the roof. Later she discovered intimate pictures of the other woman.

But hell hath no fury like John Daly's ex-wife scorned. Sherrie gets into the other woman's phone contacts and "sent them the picture of her coochie with a note that went something like this: 'This is the vagina of the woman I just found in bed with my husband'."

Sherrie 1, John 0.

Mrs Daly III
First words in the book: "I hate golf."

Mrs Daly IV
Domestic bliss, Daly style: "John wasn't like beating me all the time, and I wasn't beating him up either.

"I punched him out once."

Mrs Daly V
As for that pesky prison sentence on a money-laundering conviction:

"I'm like, 'God must have put me here.' I just had a lot of time to think and what I was putting myself through."

Richard's riches
Premier League chief executive Richard Scudamore knows how it is on the mean streets, and he says top soccer players need to remember how lucky they are: "Footballers enjoy a privileged life. The contrast between what is happening in their world and what is happening in the rest of Britain, and indeed most of the world, is getting starker."

Of course, Scudamore knows how tough things are in the present recessionary environment: The poor wee urchin's bonus for negotiating the Premier League latest TV deal in January was a mere $6.3 million.

Deal or no deal
They know how to cut a deal at Kuban Krasnodar, a club formed as Krasnodar Dynamo by the KGB back in 1928. The Russian Premier League side's Montenegrin striker Nikola Nikezic claims he was beaten up after refusing to scrap the final year of his contract.

"I received a powerful blow to the liver," Nikezic said in a letter to Sepp Blatter. "The second man took off his jacket ... and I saw two pistols. They again demanded that I sign the documents, and when I refused, I received a second powerful blow to the same spot. They started to strangle me, and threatened to make an invalid out of me."

Nikezic claims the beating went on for 20 minutes. "I was left with no energy and a great fear for my life. I signed three copies of the agreement and two documents."

The club insist they did no wrong, but thoughtfully paid him $256,000. Good people.

'Fabric of awesomeness'
Over in Baltimore, things are firing up for the Preakness Stakes, one of the biggest races in the Great Satan. Happily, efforts to curb the amount of alcohol consumed on site have pretty much been given up.

In keeping with the event's boozy focus, organisers have unveiled a new mascot for the race, a half-man, half-horse centaur with a beery nature called "Kegasus".

NBC reports: "Greek mythology buffs know Pegasus was the child of Poseidon and Medusa, but Preakness organisers explained that: 'The Kegasus mascot stepped into his man-stall after they organised an event so spectacular it accidentally ripped a hole in the fabric of awesomeness'."

Lifeless crowd
While fans at Hurricanes Super 15 games risk dropping dead of boredom, over in Colombia, they're arriving dead before the match.

Last Sunday, Christopher Jacome arrived at General Santander Stadium for the match between Cucuta Deportivo and Envigado. In a coffin.

Murdered by a gunman the day before while playing soccer at a nearby park, the 17-year-old's mates thought it would be nice to parade him around his favourite ground one last time after the funeral.

"We do not understand how he was let in," said Envigado midfielder Angle Jilmar. "We wondered if it was the fault of security."

Where's Poonam?
No word yet on Poonam Pandey, the model who vowed to strip naked for the Indian cricket team if they beat Sri Lanka in the World Cup final.

"Be content to act but leave the talking to others," she Tweeted last week, before not acting on her promise to get her kit off.

She's written a letter to the Indian cricket board offering to strip in Paris.

THEY SAID IT...

"If we have to play against Barcelona we have to train well with 10 men because every time I go there, it's the same story."

Special One Jose Mourinho is paranoid about the Champions' League path ahead for Real Madrid.

"Let's at least hope he doesn't use that sort of language when the prostitutes are round, because goodness knows what they'd think."

British columnist Mark Steel on Wayne Rooney swearing into a TV camera.

"I was the pioneer when it comes to marrying footballers and moving to Europe."

Model Mariana de Melo. It's nice to leave a legacy.

"As I pulled my hand away I looked down at my finger because I felt it throbbing a bit. I saw it was a bit demented and had a few lacerations, so I put a towel on it and rushed to the hospital."

Parramatta hooker Matt Keating, who is out for six weeks after his pet bulldog bit through his finger while tussling, leaving the digit a bloodied mess.

"They love it. They love the fact that it's - well, not exactly dirty and small because it isn't - but because it's a football club. We had customers from Hong Kong with us for the [win over Manchester] United. They couldn't believe the noise, the atmosphere, the passion. For a corporate client on a day out for us - fantastic."

Standard Chartered's head of corporate affairs Gavin Laws on the real joy of sponsoring Liverpool: A nice day out for the clients. Get in.

"It's not been the blockbusting financial result we might have hoped for. We are kind of sitting here thinking it has been an adventure, worth it and special, without being the financial hit we had hoped."

Crusaders chief executive Hamish Riach on the trip to Twickers.

GOOD WEEK

Neil Wagner
The Black Cap in-waiting's five-wicket over had statisticians reaching for the almanacs and headline writers foreseeing years' worth of classical music allusions. And yes. He's eligible to play for New Zealand in April next year.

BAD WEEK

Manchester United
The Red Devils were voted Britain's most hated company by 26 per cent of survey respondents. That puts them beyond even the reviled Ryan Air (23 per cent) and British Gas (22 per cent).

THE NUMBER

2hr 3min 30sec
The crowd-surfing record set by DJ Giel Beelen, in Holland, where they clearly have too much time on their hands. "Every couple of minutes you're getting jabbed in the ribs or worse," he said of his record-breaking feat.