Super Rugby Pacific: Beauden Barrett's retirement concerns during concussion battle

Beauden Barrett returned to action for the Blues against the Chiefs last weekend. Photosport

Relief envelopes Beauden Barrett as he reflects on his eventual emergence from a two-and-a-half-month concussion haze to begin this season's comeback.

Barrett will start at No 10 for the first time in two years for the Blues on Friday night against the Highlanders in Albany, but only after overcoming lingering concussion symptoms he battled throughout the summer months that left him with a renewed appreciation for this next stage of his career.

Through 101 tests, Barrett has been fortunate to suffer just one serious injury – a grade-two knee-ligament strain that sidelined him for five weeks in 2015. Dealing with concussion is another beast entirely.

"It was extremely challenging," Barrett says. "The hardest thing about this one was not finding the cure. That's the million-dollar question with a lot of these concussions. It was frustrating.

"Typically the December-January months are the festive fun times where you decompress and spend time with friends and family. I did that, but it was annoying with a headache all the time."

Before his return off the bench for the Blues last week, after sitting out their opening loss to the Hurricanes, Barrett last featured in the All Blacks' defeat to Ireland in Dublin on November 14, when he sustained a heavy blow to the head in a front-on tackle. He missed the final test of the year in Paris, and battled frequent symptoms after returning home.

Beauden Barrett before leaving the pitch for a head injury assessment during the test defeat to Ireland last year. Photo / Getty

Those symptoms led him to fear the worst — that his career could be cut short.

"I'm well aware of how concussion can lead to retirement if it doesn't work out. Kane, my brother, had to give up his career because of it. I see plenty of good friends and team-mates have done the same in the past.

"I tried to stay positive — I'm usually a very optimistic person. I was trying to find alternative ways to get on top of things, and I did that.

"It's probably the closest I've been to retirement and I certainly wasn't ready for it. I'm only 30, and I've still got plenty to give. Being back fit and healthy, I'm grateful to be here now and hopefully contribute well to the Blues this season."

Barrett had to be patient, only returning to training when the Blues established camp in the Queenstown bubble in early February. Even then, his month-long baby steps through contact progression contained challenges.

"Throughout that I was still suffering symptoms but I was able to pinpoint where they were coming from and it was my neck. That was reassuring to know it wasn't a concussion symptom so I could fully trust that and work towards returning to play knowing if I got on top of my neck, my headaches would go away. That got me excited and I had a plan to return against the Chiefs or Highlanders."

Given his laid-back persona and vast experience, a seamless return may be expected. Instead, Barrett's first match for the Blues since 2020, after skipping the last Super season to play in the Japanese Top League, was consumed by nervous hesitancy.

"There was a lot of doubt. Anyone returning from injury has that. It's something you have to work through and it gets better with time, training and playing. That game on the weekend almost felt like a debut. It felt so foreign because it was the first time in a while I was back in a Blues jersey.

"I had that cloud of 'am I going to return from this concussion — or is this it?'. So it's a relief to be back. I'm loving competing again and being back playing footy in New Zealand domestically.

"There's so much going on in the world so we're pretty fortunate to be playing in this environment.

"I'll have high expectations whenever I train or play on myself because of where I've been in the past and where I want to get to. Typically, it does take me a while to get in my groove early in the year but that's a challenge I'm looking forward to."

Last year's All Blacks campaign finished with successive defeats to Ireland and France but enforced time away from the game gave Barrett the chance to ponder his future. With Ireland arriving for three tests in July, and next year's World Cup on the horizon, he does not shy away from lofty ambitions.

"I'm always trying to get better as a player but I was just enjoying my footy and embracing the tour. Anytime we got the chance to express ourselves I tried to do that.

"I try to go out there with a smile on my face and that's what I'll be doing. It's a privileged position I'm in. I've still got time to improve and leave my mark on the game. I want to inspire the next generation and be that guy kids look up to and want to play like — that's expansive entertaining rugby and having fun out there."

After featuring largely at fullback in his debut year for the Blues, before departing for the Japanese Top League the following season, Barrett is relishing the prospect of a full campaign at first-five before embarking on another test campaign.

"It's great to be back in the saddle. We've got a fantastic group of lads and we're spoiled with the coaching team so it's a great time to be in the position I'm in. We've got high standards on ourselves. We really want to win the competition. We've got a very good squad.

"It's a huge season ahead before a World Cup so that's very exciting for me personally and I know fans will be itching to get out and see live rugby again soon. We're desperate for them to watch us play because it's bizarre with no crowds at the moment."