Snooker: Rocket O'Sullivan explodes

Ronnie O'Sullivan's genius should have seen him contesting the snooker world championship last weekend. O'Sullivan's demons put paid to that and instead the reigning champion was still absorbing the fallout from his spectacular and gripping quarter-final exit to Peter Ebdon and pondering a year off, possible retirement and a return to his desperate search for some peace between his ears.

The Crucible arena has played host to extraordinary drama but never has the meltdown of a world No 1 occurred in such an extreme or knuckle-biting or public a fashion.

Last weekend, the man known as 'the rocket' said he was "cracking up" after shaving his head on a whim because he thought he "looked rough". Earlier he'd shown indifference to winning his first-round match, saying his "heart wasn't in it".

On the hollowness he feels, even in pursuit of the world title, he said: "It's a drug for 17 days. It's a drug for the week, here and there. But for the amount of buzzes you get out of it, I know they never last. The two times I've won this title [in 2001 and last year] it was great. The people and the adulation was fantastic. But two hours later I just sat down and thought, 'Well, is this it?'

"It's a fantastic buzz but there's a price to pay. The price I've paid this year has been too heavy. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

Few, if any, sportsmen have - while being world No 1, reigning world champion and streets ahead of all his rivals - disintegrated so publicly, while using his game's biggest stage as a psychiatrist's chair to vent his turmoil. Those close to O'Sullivan feel he might have been seeking solace by airing his pain to the wider world last week. "It could be that public therapy is his way of keeping stable," said one friend, referring to O'Sullivan's battle against serious, long-term clinical depression.

Few expected it to destroy his chances of retaining his world title so dramatically. Ebdon's slow play forced O'Sullivan to stay in his chair for long periods and may have been a catalyst for his collapse.

If O'Sullivan's Achilles' heel is a loss of focus when denied access to the baize, then Ebdon's tactics exploited the vulnerability to the full. Not that Ebdon can be blamed for O'Sullivan's state of mind. As O'Sullivan himself said afterwards: "Peter's got to do what he's got to do. He has a wife and four kids to feed."

The flaw was already there, waiting to re-emerge. He was 8-2 up in the best-of-25 match but lost 11 of the next 14 frames. But what was most disturbing wasn't what happened on the table but O'Sullivan's behaviour as the match slipped away.

By the end he'd gouged skin from his face with his nails. He sat with his head slumped against a wall and a hand over his face. He chewed fingers, grimaced up at Ray Reardon, his mentor, and his behaviour became increasingly erratic. He even stood on Ebdon's chair to see the table - a bizarre first for the Crucible.

He almost conceded a frame with 13 reds left but checked himself with a whisper. He kept on playing a later frame when he needed 10 snookers. He openly laughed at an Ebdon miss - a response, he said, to a consistent groan from an audience member.

His usual sublime, peerless game was error-strewn and ordinary. And O'Sullivan doesn't do ordinary well. Reflecting on defeat, he said at least a year away from snooker is now likely. Not for the first time, he also suggested he may quit altogether.

"It may be the case I'm saying goodbye," the 29-year-old said. Against the backdrop of his emotional outpourings earlier in the week, there was something almost chilling about those words.

Talking about his fight with depression, and how he feels it is aggravated by the intensity of striving to be the world's best, he had said: "I'll give it a year, or a couple, and see what happens but I will not be able to [continue playing if depressed]. Physically and mentally, I'll probably end up killing myself."

The paradox in O'Sullivan's self-diagnosis is he believes the mental toughness and solitude required to be the best causes his depression. Yet he has so far declined to walk away, perhaps knowing the underlying problem lies elsewhere. It is not difficult to suggest reasons, including the traumas of his background and his parents' imprisonment.

His father, Ronnie snr, was sentenced to life for murder when he was 15 and his mother was later jailed for tax evasion.

Ronnie snr's sentence was harsher than anticipated because it was judged there was a racist element to the killing, a claim that Ronnie jnr denies and finds abhorrent, according to friends. They say that Ronnie snr is happy to live in a multi-ethnic area and had a black god-daughter.

That issue aside, Ronnie snr's mere incarceration was dreadful for Ronnie jnr, as he explained two years ago when launching the Prisoners' Families Helpline.

"Shock and horror and just sadness and gutted," is how Ronnie jnr described his father's imprisonment. "I cried for a long time, I was in bits. I remember it being quite difficult because once he was found guilty everyone was in a state of shock."

The stigma has also affected him. "[People] think that your dad is a murderer so you must like violence - but that couldn't be further from the truth," he said.

According to Professor Cary Cooper, a professor of psychology and health at Lancaster University and an expert in stress, there is a clear link between the manifestation of O'Sullivan's mental problems in his snooker and his past.

"I think he feels a need to prove himself more than any other player, in order to be accepted by society," said Professor Cooper.

"He is desperate to prove something and make psychological recompense for what his parents did. To do that he has to be successful. To be successful he needs to push himself to the limit. Stress is present is all competitive sport but Ronnie also has this desire to cleanse himself through success. But the pressure to do that is probably worse than the pressure of the sport in itself.

"I suspect the hollowness despite winning tournaments is because he is still living with his past. To move forward he needs to accept that whatever his parents did is their responsibility, not his."

What O'Sullivan does next remains to be seen. There were calls from many, including Ebdon, for him not to retire or even take a break. He might pursue a different sport altogether. He confided to one friend last year that he wants to become a professional golfer. "Not No 1 or anything, just a tour professional," the friend said. "He was certain, absolutely certain, that he'd be happy if he could achieve that."

- INDEPENDENT