John Kirwan enjoyed his first win of the season on Friday. Photo / Getty Images
There is a bit of John Kirwan that is wondering whether there's any point in continuing with this coaching business given that every week the fate of his side lies mostly in the hands of the referees.
Even in victory on Friday night, his side were almost denied by a questionable refereeing call in the last minute. If Nic White's long range penalty had gone over, it would have been the third game this year that the Blues were left dismayed by a harsh call that not many understood.
A minute left on the clock at Eden Park and with the ball an inch from Jerome Kaino's hands at the back of the scrum, referee Andrew Lees awarded the Brumbies a penalty.
"They said the prop was collapsing - that Angus [Ta'avao] was collapsing," said Kirwan. "But we felt their prop was hinging. But you can't change that. You have got to live with that."
A group of close friends are telling Kirwan why bother trying to live with it when it all comes down to a lottery in the end.
In Bloemfontein against the Cheetahs six weeks ago, they were penalised in the last minute by Australian referee Rohan Hoffmann for backing away in a lineout. The week before, the Blues had used this tactic well and it was deemed legal.
A letter of apology was sent by Sanzar the following week to confirm that Hoffmann made a poor call.
Then there was the scandal in Sydney when Waratahs coach Michael Cheika entered the referee's room at halftime. Sanzar, winning a PhD in missing the point, said the incident had no effect on referee Jaco Peyper's performance. But it wasn't relevant whether Cheika was in the room to give Peyper a kiss - the integrity of the contest was compromised.
In each of the seven Blues defeats, the result was in the balance for much of the game. In two of those matches, the Blues were let down by the officials and, with two extra wins in the bag, they would be sitting this morning as an outside chance of sneaking into the playoffs.
But there is another part of Kirwan that feels the poor refereeing they have encountered is reason to try to stay on and drive the Blues back to being the country's premier Super Rugby side.
The Blues board will soon hear his reasoning why he feels they are sitting so low on the table. The time is approaching for him to commit to a plan. He perhaps has two choices: the first would be to decide he'd be better to make this year his last and attempt to escape with his reputation and dignity intact.
The second is to hang in there and try to persuade the board that the current picture is not a true or fair reflection of the commitment and endeavour of his side.
The challenge will be determining where the balance of accountability lies. It would be unwise for any coach, particularly one presiding over a 1-7 record, to pin the lot on bad luck and duff refereeing. Clearly, the Blues have played a significant role in their own demise. Questions have to be raised about both the initial squad selection and starting team each week.
The positional weaknesses that most felt were going to be a problem have been a problem. The team has little stability around jerseys 9, 10, 12 and 13, and that makes improvement and consistency a near-impossible challenge.
Jimmy Cowan, an excellent man to have in the group, probably didn't expect to get so much game time. As one of life's great competitors, he has undoubtedly loved being involved as much as he has, but even he might have been wondering why his slightly ponderous decision-making and arduous delivery was tolerated as long as it was.
Daniel Bowden, now free of injury, has emerged as the answer at No10 but he needs stability and continuity outside him.
The midfield has been a revolving door and the Blues still haven't found the right combination. For the review to have integrity and for Kirwan to have a realistic chance of surviving, he has to accept responsibility for getting a lot in this crucial area of the field wrong.
There has to be some acceptance, too, that the continued decision-making errors are not solely the fault of the players. The Blues appear to have a grasp on how their game plan works, up to a point.
The longer they hold the ball, the more often they commit an individual mistake, either in execution or choice of option.
It's a maddening business but the board would be entitled to ask if the players have spent enough time at training with ball in hand, running through basic drills that require them to find a way through a broken defence.
It's maybe not a fair comparison, but All Black training sessions are built on repetition of the basics so players can still pass and catch under intense pressure.
But the incompetence of officialdom can't be discounted as a contributing factor in the Blues' woes. Any objective assessment of their season would have to conclude the Blues have been dealt an unusually bad hand.
If they'd held on to beat the Cheetahs in week three, who knows what impact that might have had on the confidence of the players?
Their rugby in the past four weeks has been blighted by poor decision-making when it matters. Now they have won, Kirwan will try to convince the board that victory may have loosened the cork.
"I think it is huge," he says. "We were saying all the right things at halftime [against the Brumbies] and I thought we started flat in the second half, so we need to look at what we are doing when we come out of the tunnel.
"Then it's like we try too hard to make things happen instead of being really solid. So I think the win will really give us the confidence to take some shackles off to be more positive instead of worrying and I think that has been the cause of a lot of errors."
There is also the Eden Park factor to consider. The Blues are a different team at Eden Park - having only lost once there in the last two seasons. Of their remaining games, five are at Eden Park.
The Blues board have a tough decision to make. They can see the team has never lacked heart or unity, even in their darkest moments.
They will have to work out what the true impact of the poor refereeing has been and how much confidence they can have that the Blues, now they have finally won, can turn a corner.
'It’s an expensive asset, and it should be well-used.'