As Manchester United bans its star players from using Twitter and test cricket umpire Daryl Harper shares his woes on Facebook, Chris Rattue picks 10 favourite chat-merchants from the worldwide web of sport.
1 Daryl Harper
The Aussie skipped all those silly press conferences and went straight to his Facebook page to defend his performance as the third umpire in Johannesburg.
While the Poms whinged away after Harper failed to hear a snick on a South African bat through audio
feed, Harper was already telling his Facebook friends that technology had failed him.
"They must find a scapegoat and the umpire is an easy target because we can't fight back ... usually," he tapped.
No wonder former England skipper Nasser Hussain failed to understand Harper's technical difficulties - Hussain attacked the Aussie in one of those old-fashioned things called a newspaper column. How 20th century.
We're backing Harper for now. Anyone who is such a dab hand at operating his social networking site must know how to use the volume knob on a telly, you would have thought. This is a terrific breakthrough for beleaguered sports officials. Harper might also face a rush of Facebook friend requests from media types.
2 Iain O'Brien
For those worried about where the quirky and just-retired Kiwi fast bowler has got to, have no fear. Check out his blog, and you will see a picture from Derbyshire entitled
Snow Outside My Front Door. He then writes: "I even had a chance to go sledging; not the trash-talking type ..."Disappointingly, though, there is nothing on what he had for breakfast.
There's only one Iain O'Brien. His daily test-match blogs were a velvet revolution.
He even apologised when not up to putting his heart and soul into a blog.
O'Brien inadvertently launched his blog into the national consciousness when he claimed spectators at the Gabba called him a "faggot".
But O'Brien never blogged off the long run-up, preferring polite references to the day's events and banter from the middle.
If there is a criticism, he could get over-excited about his batting.
"I got a few shots away through third man for four, an area that I tend to score in a bit at this level," he said of his test farewell to the Basin Reserve.
His blog scored well, though.
3 Gilbert Arenas
The man who put the twit into Twitter. Topping Arenas' internet effort would take some doing. The Washington Wizards NBA basketball star not only took a bunch of handguns to work but he joked about it on his Twitter page.
He is now suspended, with his huge contract under threat.
The phrase "only in America" comes to mind.
Arenas and a teammate had turned their locker room into a mock OK Corral over a card game debt - multi-millionaire Arenas got his ego in a twist having to pay up US$35,000.
But wait, there's more.
Arenas also tweeted bad taste jokes which wiped the smile off the NBA's face.
This created what might be the world's first internet intervention as sage advisers begged Arenas to give up the chat.
So Arenas was not only the first NBA star to have a blog, but the first to have his Twitter feed retired.
He departed with a flourish, claiming that Jesus was on his side and declaring "Eventually your words is going to kill you."
Maybe, although not as quickly as a load of guns will.
4 Neemia Tialata
Go get 'em big guy.
The test and Hurricanes prop had a right old crack at coach Jamie Joseph after struggling for game time with Wellington.
"The whole union/franchise is a joke," he declared on his Facebook page. "Can't believe I just wasted most of my life and sacrificed a lot for this union and jersey to be treated like a school kid ... when a coach suggests to you to think about playing overseas while my knees are still good or reinvent my game and be that bench player or 20 minute man then said to take a month off ..."
Sensational. Of course the clean-up brigade quickly moved in. All Black assistant coach Wayne Smith called it "an historical thing" - whatever that adds to the argument. "It becomes quite emotional ... if you can get back on that page it can come right pretty quickly," Smith added, just as confusingly.
Which page is that exactly? Not the Facebook one we presume.
Tialata publicly claimed peace had broken out and was shocked his privacy was breached. Yawn. Yawn. Nobody talks straight any more in NZ rugby ... except on their social networking site.
5 Neemia Tialata (again) and Cory Jane
Not satisfied with just a Facebook page, Tialata is also on Twitter. What a busy life.
He and Cory Jane beat the embargo to reveal they would not play against England. They were soon dubbed the Twitter Twins. Coach Graham Henry was only mildly unamused and made an old-timer's joke. "I thought Twitter was the new England five-eighth," said Henry, playing the old fool.
There were unsubstantiated claims that the punishment would include a period of non-tweeting, with no mention of whether this ban would extend to Facebook.
Tialata has hundreds of Twitter followers, but slammed the naughty journo who uncovered the scoop, saying he probably visited dating sites. Lonely people trying to meet other lonely people should have been outraged - not everyone can be a popular All Black star with thousands of Facebook friends.
Poor old Graham Henry. Having just heard about social networking sites, he was plunged into a world that included internet hook-ups.
Comrades are still waiting for the right moment to tell the old coach that you can even order groceries online these days.
6 Tim Bresnan
Bresnan, an English cricket all-rounder in the full sense of the phrase, got mighty upset when someone doctored one of his Twitpics images to make Bresnan look fat.
Not a slight man to start off with, he felt slighted.
"Don't mind my mates dishing it out," he wrote, "but who the **** are you. Crawl out of your basement. U ****."
The word is Bresnan doesn't mind the caterers dishing it out, but obviously the fun stops there.
English teammate Graeme Swann loved Bresnan's tirade and said as much through his Twitter account. But team officials were not so amused and implored their players to be nice on the net.
In another victory for internet chat sites though, "Fatgate" did force England team director Andy Flower to admit that Bresnan "always had a slight struggle on the fitness side".
Bresnan is refusing to be muzzled on the net: "If someone punches you, you whack 'em back."
7 Phillip Hughes
The Aussie opener revealed too early that he would be dropped during the Ashes and got a right serve for his troubles.
"Disappointed not to be on the field with the lads today. Will be supporting the guys, it's a BIG test match 4 us. Thanks 4 all the support," ran his Twitter message.
Rain arrived at Edgbaston so the media made a meal of Hughes' blooper, which had angered the Aussie team management whose rearguard action involved a futile smokescreen.
Once England had got over the disappointment of Hughes' axing, they were able to prepare for his shock replacement, Shane Watson.
For all those thousands of Hughes fans, the disappointment must have turned to anguish when his manager Neil D'Costa took the rap. "I look after Twitter for him," said D'Costa. "Unfortunately I'm the fool."
Does this mean there are Twitter middlemen?
Hughes is set to be remembered more for his faux pas than his test batting.
8 Darren Bent
The Spurs striker left his Twitter buddies in no doubt about his plans and thoughts on club chairman Daniel Levy.
"Do I wanna go Hull City NO. Do I wanna go Stoke NO. Do I wanna go Sunderland YES. So stop f***ing around, Levy."
"Why can't anything be simple? It's so frustrating hanging round doing jack s**t. Seriously getting p***ed off now."
Bent tried to straighten things out with a grovelling apology on the Spurs website, but Levy got levying and Bent was fined $250,000, which is only about a week's wages for many players.
At the height of this controversy, Bent's Twitter account supposedly dropped out of sight - yeah right.
All's well that ends well. Bent got to Sunderland where he tweets up to 50 times a day.
Having put a foot in his mouth at Spurs, he now has his mouthpiece on his foot. In honour of being the Premier League's "highest profile social networker" Bent had his Twitter ID and the site's logo printed on the tongues of his football boots.
9 Larry Johnson
The NFL running back doesn't quite understand what "social networking" was all about, although his work on Twitter has led to him having to make new friends outside of Kansas, where he once played for the Chiefs.
After another bad day for the Chiefs, Johnson, who is now employed by the Cincinnati Bengals, leapt aboard Twitter to diss his then coach, Todd Haley.
Johnson reckoned: "My father got more credentials than most of these pro coaches. My father played for the coach from 'remember the titans'. Our coach played golf. My father played for redskins briefly. Our coach. Nuthn."
Challenged by a fan on Twitter, he responded with a gay slur. On a roll, Johnson used Twitter to humiliate another fan because he earned less money than him.
More than 10,000 fans petitioned the Chiefs to prevent Johnson being able to gain the few yards he needed to set a club rushing record.
10 Joshua Cribbs
For the 10th name on our list we could delve into the way IPL boss Lalit Modi revealed he would ban Chris Cairns via his (Modi's) Twitter page, or how Serena Williams turned to Twitter for advice from followers on how to boil beans when her mum wouldn't answer the phone ... but we won't.
Instead, NFL star Joshua Cribbs comes in at No 10.
Cribbs may have turned his nose up at the Cleveland Browns latest contract offer, but he's doing his bit for devastated Haiti. Cribbs had already given his Pro Bowl cheque to the relief fund and is now pledging to donate US$1 for every follower on his Twitter site. The number of people following his account has leapt up by 2000 to 19,000 as a result.
For superstars such as Shaq O'Neal - who has a record 2.7 million followers - a straightforward donation might be in order. Cribbs could afford to become more popular, because he wasn't a massive star in the first place. But good on him for helping a worthy cause.
