The World's Cup: The Wallabies' path to glory

Wallabies coach Michael Cheika said "at the end of the day there's no favourable side of the draw". Photo / Getty Images

Steve Deane scours global media for an offbeat look at rugby's biggest show.

ROAD TO GLORY

Wallabies coach Michael Cheika might be doing his best to hose down the perception that his team already has one foot in the final, however his nation's uber-cocky media aren't exactly playing ball.

"The Wallabies' path to Rugby World Cup glory cleared" screamed a headline on a story that steadfastly ignores everything the national coach is saying. Cheika refuses to describe a path to the final that takes in Scotland and then Ireland or Argentina as less treacherous than one involving New Zealand or South Africa.

"I know that people like to make comments based on whatever rankings (there are) but at the end of the day there's no favourable side of the draw," Cheika said in one of the tournament's more preposterous statements. "The only favour is that you're in it, you're still there."

SNEAKY SAVANT

With Scotland's players about as threatening as a hedgehog that's had an unfortunate encounter with an SUV, the SMH has chosen to focus on the real dangerman in the Scottish setup - director of rugby Scott Johnson.

A bit of a larrikin, the former Wallabies attack coach once turned up to a presser in full camo gear after the All Blacks accused Australia of spying on them.

"He's a real rugby savant," says Wallabies defence coach Nathan Grey of Johnson. "They'll have a very clear game plan on how they want to play us, they've got a lot of threats across the park." Johnson was fond of "rubbing his crystal ball and pulling teams apart", said Grey.

MELANCHOLY AND THE INFINITE SADNESS

Ireland, as we've mentioned once or twice before in this column, tend to stuff up horribly at the quarter-final stage. The Irish Times has done a splendid job of milking that misery with a piece headed: A history of heartbreak: Ireland's world cup quarter-final defeats.

"Ireland have history with the Pumas. Ireland also have history with the World Cup quarter-finals. Unfortunately, neither are remembered with particular fondness," the piece dolefully points out. Lowlights include a 33-17 at the hands of the Aussies in 1987, ending a campaign that began with coach Mick Doyle suffering a heart attack at an opening gala dinner and 'winger' Michael Lynagh (oh no he wasn't) scoring a cracking last minute try in the ball crushing 18-19 defeat of 1991.

NORTH v SOUTH

A good few media outlets have cottoned on to the fact that every RWC2015 quarter-final pits a plucky, exciting southern hemisphere nation against a boring-as-bat droppings, monolithic northern foe (our emphasis added there, admittedly). This weekend will settle the debate about which hemisphere reigns supreme "for the foreseeable future", suggests The Guardian. Those cashing in on the gift-wrapped narrative will be thankful the likes of Kenya, Ecuador, Colombia, Brazil, Gabon and the Maldives remain the sleeping giants of world rugby.*

* No more geography gags, we promise.

COVERING YOU, COVERING US

With the number of live RWC storylines now in an ever-decreasing spiral, many of the globe's media outlets have turned to covering each other's coverage. In defence of this column, we started it first. And in another trailblazing first, we now bring you coverage of a news organisation covering our coverage. Irish website Independent.ie is a little sniffy about this organ's suggestion the semis will be an exclusive southern love-in.
"It's no great secret that the standard of rugby in this part of the world is not held with the highest of regard south of the equator, and it seems as though one particular New Zealand media outlet believes the penultimate round of the World Cup will be comprised only of sides from the Rugby Championship," huffs the website, which describes the Herald as New Zealand's "rugby bible".