However, if they don’t bring the Cup home, remember that the world didn’t actually end after we didn’t make the final in 1991, ‘99, 2003, and ‘19, or the semi-finals in ‘07.
Words of wisdom that the Mad Butcher, Sir Peter Leitch, has offered heart-broken Warrior fans in the past still ring true. “If a kid’s hurt or someone dies, it’s a tragedy. Losing a footy game isn’t a tragedy.”
Have a second team
Way back in 1991, Samoa saved the World Cup for Kiwis by being the unexpected, dynamic stars of pool play.
This year there are many choices for a back-up to the All Blacks to support, thanks to the revival of Pasifika teams from an injection of former All Blacks, such as Charles Piutau and Malakai Fekitoa for Tonga.
After years of officials in Europe keeping a foot on the neck of Pasifikia squads with draconian rules banning a swap of countries we can now see what countries in Britain were scared of. Fiji beating England 30-22 at Twickenham, and Samoa rattling Ireland, before going down, 17-13, were results that suggest the ‘23 Cup will be a great time for Pasifika teams that are short on finance, but huge on talent.
And the even better news for a rugby fan: They all play exciting, attacking rugby.
(If you need a pick me up at any stage during the Cup, go to TVNZ Plus, and watch the riveting, heartwarming documentary, “Family Faith Footy: A Pasifika Rugby Story.”)
Don’t take the British media seriously
English rugby writers have been calling the All Blacks cheats since 1905, when the captain of the first All Black side to tour Britain, Dave Gallaher, played what was called the wing forward position, where he put the ball into a seven-man New Zealand scrum, and was free to be an extra attacker or defender.
There’s some delight amongst today’s northern scribblers at the prospect of the All Blacks struggling in France, and if New Zealand win the Cup anyway, expect some serious backlash from the usual keyboard warriors.
Keep in mind that an element in the traditional excoriation of the All Blacks may have something to do with the fact England have won one World Cup, and Wales, Scotland, and Ireland none between them.
In case you forgot, New Zealand and South Africa have won three each.
Find a villain
Sport is at its best when it feels like theatre. Which means it helps watching rugby to have a WWF pantomime bad guy, as well as a squeaky-clean hero.
In my family, the current All Black who wins the “he’s a naughty boy but we love him” title is Dane Coles, in whose eyes a glint of mischief is always gleaming.
Opposition teams? Once it was easy to find the rogue. In 2015, Wallaby Quade Cooper’s role in Kiwi eyes was to be the baddie. Cooper even claimed he enjoyed being booed. England offered their ‘91 captain, Will Carling, who presented as a caricature Sloane Ranger, all languid vowels and Rolex watch, strolling straight from the officer’s mess to the footy field, which made him a perfect target for Kiwi distaste.
My only regret about the Wallabies looking easybeats at this Cup is that we may not see a lot of Nic White, who takes the concept of the stroppy, mouthy halfback to new, at times laugh out loud, heights.
Foster won’t ask about love lives
As England lurches towards the Cup, a startling autobiography from former England player, Danny Cipriani, has seized attention not only for the revelation from that he regularly bedded three women a day, but the claim that Eddie Jones (then coaching England), once asked him, in terms you’d expect from a grubby teenage boy, what one of his girlfriends was like.
Be happy for the fact that: a.) there is not one rumour of a scurrilous tell-all All Black book on the local publishing grapevine here, and b.) having known Ian Foster since he was in his 20s, even if there was such a book, Foster is one of the last men who would ask for sleazy details.
It’s not politics
As the mud flies on the election campaign trail, how wonderful for rugby fans that every couple of days we’ll have a test match to distract us until the election’s held on October 14.
France v All Blacks: Kickoff 7.15am, Saturday
Follow the match at nzherald.co.nz
Elliott Smith’s live commentary on Newstalk ZB, Gold Sport and iHeartRadio
Alternative Commentary Collective: iHeartRadio and Radio Hauraki
