Rugby World Cup Shorts: Raunchy rugby, no sweat

Deodorant makers Lynx have created their raunchiest advert to date - using scantily-clad girls smothered in body oil to explain the rules of rugby. Photo / Supplied

The Lynx effect

Deodorant makers Lynx have created their raunchiest advert so far - using scantily clad girls smothered in oil to explain the rules of rugby.

Models form a scrum, jump in a lineout and ruck and maul - that's ruck you novices.

Merci a Lynx for their instruction on rugby rules. How else can you explain a maul, hooker, crooked feed, tighthead etc without some raunchy chicklets slathered in body oil? Many question Cup Shorts' judgment but more than a million hits on YouTube confirms our appreciation. Our favourite is the maul.

Donkey tail

Good to see Wayne Barnes still playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey in HamilVegas. The Cup Shorts mob held their breath Barnes would miss a playoffs gig and that wish appears to have been granted and the love connection broken between the IRB and the waxen whistler. Wales scored a bag of tries, including a few with Cardiff 2007 written all over them, as the intrepid match trio delighted in the test rather than the accuracy needed to control it.

When Paddy's prodigy is not missing projectile passes he appears to have an uncanny ability to get in the way of lots of other play. We think this is a by-product of the uno-dimensional play in England.

In the midst of the squealing and bile emerging from the World Cup, there has been a nicety or three like that coming out of the whispering Irish gob of coach Declan Kidney. Departing Italian supremo Nick Mallett dished the goss, declaring his new amore for el Kidney.

"He's an amazingly kind gentleman and I think rugby is very privileged to have people like him involved in running national sides because what he said to me has meant the world."

Coach's backhander

Garlic-eaters boss Marc Lievremont on allegations of disharmony among the ranks. "I am a fighter, I have respect for the men and I believe they can pick themselves up. I have experienced and talented players ... but perhaps not as talented as I thought."

Granddad at the game

We ran into Zac Guildford's granddad before the All Blacks match with Canada. G-dad might like to revive his pre-match declaration that there was a lack of sporting clout down his side of the family tree, after the Zac Attack claimed four touchdowns. Cup Shorts has a coaching tip though; tuck the pill in the outside arm, Zac, and you'll have less grief sneaking in at the corner.

Trivial subs

Trivial Pursuit in a few years. Name the All Black pack which finished the final pool game against Canada and who came on as a substitute for Colin Slade? Answers: B. Franks, Mealamu, O. Franks, Whitelock, A. Williams, Thorn, Boric, Kaino and Thorn.