Rugby World Cup Shorts: Carter the unstoppable press machine saves the day

Dan Carter saves the day. Photo / Steven McNicholl

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He might be injured but Dan Carter still knows how to take a hit for the team. Just 24 hours after Ali Williams set All Black press relations back by a decade or so, the team's go-to guy fronted up to the media with his winning smile, sympathy-rich tale and positive affirmations. Well played, Dan.

Still crushing on Piri

The latest offerings from the worldwide web's love affair with Piri Weepu. The last one might even be true.

* Piri Weepu destroyed the periodic table because Piri Weepu only recognises the element of surprise ...

* Piri Weepu can touch MC Hammer

* Piri Weepu and Mr T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesomeness cannot be contained in one building.

* Google won't search for Piri Weepu because it knows you don't find Piri Weepu, he finds you.

* Piri Weepu ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

* Some people wear Superman pyjamas. Superman wears Piri Weepu pyjamas.

* It takes Piri Weepu 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

* If you spell Piri Weepu in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

* Piri Weepu can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

* Piri Weepu can slam a revolving door.

* Piri Weepu doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

* If at first you don't succeed, you're not Piri Weepu.

* Piri Weepu once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

That Wallaby nut

On Sunday's CupTalk on TV3, host James Gemmell quizzed the panel about Quade Cooper's performance. He asked Andrew Mehrtens: "Would you have pulled him off?"

Don't know if that would have helped.

Never say never

One of CupShorts' more neurotic correspondents with a fearful eye on Sunday's final reminds us of some great sporting certainties of our time.

* "Baby" All Blacks v France. With the best 30 players out of the country on a fact-finding peace mission to South Africa, the All Blacks were never going to beat a full strength French team with players like Blanco, Sella, Lescarboura and Condom. The cry-baby All Blacks were destined to be pummelled to the core. Right?

Answer: Wrong.

* Mike Tyson v Buster Douglas. Tyson was heavily favoured to continue his undefeated reign as undisputed world heavyweight boxing champion. James 'Buster' Douglas didn't have a chance against the "Baddest man on the Planet". Laughable.

Result: Wrong.

* John Daly v the rest of the 1991 PGA field. Daly only received an invite when Nick Price dropped out, no other alternate was available and happy hour finished at his neighbourhood bar. The chain-smokin', beer-swillin', gamblin' and shaggin' Daly stood zero chance of beating a star-stacked PGA field.

Result: Wrong.

Taming the beast

Assistant coach Steve Hansen on how to train Brad Thorn: "Give him something to push, something to tackle, something to catch. Give him three feeds a day. Just make sure they're big ones."