Paul Thomas: Now for the real world rankings

COMMENT

During the Rugby World Cup sub-hosting shemozzle, we found out the hard way what the IRB doesn't do. It doesn't provide the international rugby community with high-minded leadership or safeguard rugby's traditional values.

For those left wondering what exactly it does do, enlightenment is at hand: the IRB ranks. Compulsively. It has ranked the rugby-playing nations from one - England - all the way down to 94 - Finland. And since you ask, Kazakhstan came in at a respectable 42nd.

This is a largely redundant undertaking since a financial services group's computer churns out regularly updated rankings. Perhaps that's why the IRB has Ireland as the third best team in the world.

Various explanations were advanced for this stunning development that had somehow escaped the notice of rugby followers the world over. Some noted the proximity of IRB headquarters to the Guinness brewing group, others that the IRB's acting chairman, Syd Millar, is Irish.

Here at Cynicism Central, we saw it as a publicity stunt, a desperate shriek for attention along the lines of the Britney-Madonna tongue wrestle at the MTV Awards.

The IRB and the computer agree that the seven best teams are, in alphabetical order, Argentina, Australia, England, France, Ireland, New Zealand and South Africa. With the World Cup almost upon us, it's worth checking the big seven's results against each other over the past two years.

Two years is long enough to smooth out form fluctuations but not long enough to flirt with irrelevance. It covers two Six Nations tournaments, two Tri-Nations series and two cycles of tours in each direction. From an All Black point of view, it coincides with John Mitchell becoming coach.

In this period Ireland won an impressive 20 out of 27 tests and was one of only two teams - the other being France - to beat England. However, most of those victories were over sides who will only be at the World Cup to make up numbers. Of its big seven encounters, Ireland won four out of 11.

Only England and New Zealand, the favourites to contest the World Cup final, won more than 50 per cent. Their records are strikingly similar, England winning 12 out of 15, New Zealand 12 out of 16 with a draw. Having won both the head-to-heads, England deserves overall favouritism.

With one exception - Australia in Argentina - England and New Zealand were also the only teams to win away from home. That suggests that although Australia and France have similar records - seven wins out of 17 and six and a draw out of 16 respectively - the hosts will pose a greater threat.

* Author Paul Thomas has written books with All Black legend John Kirwan and former All Black coach John Hart. His examination of the impact of professionalism on New Zealand rugby, A Whole New Ball Game, has just been published by Hodder Moa Beckett. Thomas is one of the Herald's World Cup team.

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