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Home / Sport / Rugby / Rugby World Cup

<i>Dylan Cleaver:</i> Press conference instrument of torture in English hands

By Dylan Cleaver
6 Oct, 2007 04:00 PM3 mins to read

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Eddie Jones

Eddie Jones

Opinion

KEY POINTS:

There is nothing quite as painful as a press conference involving England. For a start you have a coach, Brian Ashton, who looks as if he would be more comfortable sitting naked, smeared in honey in front of a family of starving grizzly bears than he would in front of a pack of well-fed journos.

I can almost sympathise. Every English paper has a man on the ground and most have more. Every one is looking for an 'angle', leading to the ridiculous situation of the same question being asked, with the slightest variation, at least 10 times.

Last week the issue du jour was the selection of Andy Farrell (who later withdrew through injury).

All it needed was for one person to say: "Andy was crap against South Africa but now he's being picked again. What gives Brian?"

But, oh no.

Number's up

The French are outraged on the streets of Paris, Marseille and points between this morning - and I write this some hours before the rugby has kicked off.

There's sure to be a bit of despondency if the French lose, sure, but what's really getting their goat is the loss of one of their quirkiest traditions.

The French car number plate is going the same way of the franc and the guillotine (OK, so maybe that last one isn't such a bad thing).

Until now, the last two numbers have signified the French departement in which the owner resides. There are 95 administered departements.

Not only have number plates been a source of games for bored kids travelling long distances on holiday, they have also kept alive a sense of regional one-ness.

Most importantly though, according to many French, the numbers helped identify foes on the road and display your prejudices.

In rural areas, the sight of a No 75 car driven badly will lead to derisive cries of "arrogant Parisian". On the other side of the road most folk consider those in cars with a No 13 plate, from Marseilles and its outlying towns, Mediterranean roadhogs.

According to reports, those from Ain in the Rhone alps region, who have a 01 plate, are the country's worst drivers.

It has also been a useful police tool. In one of Paris' poorer northern departements, No 93, a flash-looking car with 75 plates could well be stolen.

Polls on the issue suggest between 60-70 per cent of French oppose the change, which is being implemented supposedly to simplify the bureaucracy of ownership.

Weighty burden

Stephen Larkham's injury has meant an even greater responsibility for Berrick Barnes, 21.

Coach John Connolly admits the first five-eighths was one of the last players picked after an ordinary Super 14 campaign with the Reds.

It was expected his greatest responsibility would be looking after Wally, the team mascot. It falls upon the youngest squad member to ensure Wally's safety during the seven weeks.

There is a feeling in the camp now that perhaps Barnes has greater things to worry about.

No comment

How to answer a question brilliantly by not answering a question.

Reporter: "Would you have appreciated a forward pack like this [the Springboks] when you were Wallabies coach?"

Eddie Jones: "I'm not going to answer that or else I will get into trouble."

We'll take that as a "yes" then, shall we?

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