View photosKEY POINTS:
Shattered All Black rugby fans can ease their mental pain by sticking with the World Cup until the bitter end, psychologist Marc Wilson says.
Ignoring the tournament in the wake of yesterday's shock 20-18 quarter-final loss to France would not help people get over the All Blacks' early exit, said Dr Wilson, deputy head of Victoria University's psychology school.
"I don't think you want to go cold turkey," he said.
"Spend time with your kids, take your son out, toss the ball around in the park. This is not the end of the world.
"If I was giving a prescription I would say, convince yourself we should have won if it wasn't for the referee cheating, and at least a Southern Hemisphere team is going to win.
"Put everything behind the South Africans, go out and remind yourself what else is going on in the world - there are a hell of a lot of good things out there."
Those who were convinced the All Blacks were destined to win the Cup would be most upset, he said.
"If you thought this was in the bag, this will be more of a shock than if you thought, 'we've got to watch out, we shouldn't be complacent'."
Pained supporters should spare some thought for the All Blacks, who would be hurting more, he said.
"In order to play at the highest level ... the All Blacks have to assume they are going to win, so for the same reason a supporter would be upset, it would be doubly so for the All Blacks."
Dr Wilson said he felt the All Blacks would have done better had they been in a tougher pool, which would have psychologically tempered them for the quarter-final.
Having the hopes of a nation on their shoulders, and knowing past sides had failed to bring home the cup, would have played on the minds of the All Blacks, he said.
"They aren't just the All Blacks - they are playing for us."
Failing at the World Cup in 1991, 1995, 1999, 2003 and 2007 meant allegations the All Blacks were "chokers" had become entrenched, Dr Wilson said.
That worked against New Zealand and bolstered the hopes of their rivals.
"No matter how well [the All Blacks have] played, they're not invincible and the one place they are going to lose, if you're going to pick it, if your life depended on it, is the World Cup. "The French have done it before, they've seen it done before, and they had an amazing incentive."
The importance of the loss on New Zealanders' mental health was not lost on Foreign Minister Winston Peters.
He told Agenda on TV One that the loss was depressing.
Had the All Blacks won, "it would have been a big lift for our country psychologically and a big lift economically as well".
"When people feel better they produce more, they work harder, they just are happier, they don't beat up their children and their husbands or their wives and so, you know, it's a tragedy."
Mr Peters appeared to be willing to take Dr Wilson's advice about blaming the referee.
"It's 80 minutes long, it's a very short time, you get an incompetent referee ... and that's the result."
Sports psychologist Gary Hermansson said it was important to remember that rugby was just a sport, and sport could entail loss.
"Some people think sport's bigger than life. It's not. It's part of life," he said.
Dr Hermansson hoped the majority of New Zealanders would show sympathy for the All Blacks and recognise their efforts.
"It's the equivalent of people going off to the other side of the world to do battle for us, and it's important that we respect them and value them, and treat them like we would any other homecoming sons."
New Zealanders had tended to give losing teams a tough time in the past, he said, and the response to the All Blacks now provided "a real test of our character as a nation".
"It would be sad if the only vocal response were those who were vitriolic and didn't seem to have the emotional maturity to be able to put it in perspective."
Philip Culbertson, a psychotherapist and theology lecturer at Auckland University, said New Zealanders invested a huge amount of emotion and resources in rugby, and with that came a "black-and-white mentality" which made losing particularly painful.
"Things are either all good or all bad, and we expect levels of perfection that are super-human."
"Let's hope we can all be kind to each other over the next few days instead of externalising our grief and taking it out on other people."
EASING THE PAIN
* Spend time with the kids
* Blame the ref
* Kick a ball round the park
* Watch the final
-Additional reporting Juliet Rowan
