Leicester Lip let's 'er rip

By WYNNE GRAY

Former Wallaby coach Bob Dwyer used to lament that there was a loose connection between David Campese's mouth and his brain.

Heaven knows what Lions coach Graham Henry is thinking after another wing, Austin Healey, gave Australia, their rugby and their media a massive serve on the eve of the series decider tonight.

Healey is in some doubt for the test after suffering back spasms yesterday, probably from wriggling out of another please-explain session with Henry.

Already in trouble for criticising the Lions' management, Healey lived up to his "Leicester Lip" nickname in his latest column for the Guardian under the headline: "And for the finale ... stuffing the arrogant Aussies."

"They call me one of the troublemakers. Matt Dawson and me, the lip Machines," Healey's article began.

"Matt says this, I say that; what's going on? Anything we say comes back to this back-end of the world with a whole lot of spin. Well, spin this, you Aussies: up yours.

"Is that enough to get into the Sydney Morning Sun Telegraph Herald Load of Shite? If ever I wanted to do something, it was beat you lot. There, that's better. Now calm down, Ozzer."

Healey went on to single out new Wallaby lock Justin Harrison for some verbals.

When he was injured against the Brumbies and missed the second test, Healey thought he knew who nailed him. On closer video inspection he reckoned Harrison was the culprit.

"I thought it was that flanker Peter Ryan who clouted me, but no, there it is on video, my old pal, the plod from the second row.

"And what do you know, he's in the team to face us. Me and the plank. Do you think one of us will have the final say? I'll say so."

Warming to his own wisdom, or perhaps he is getting paid by the word, Healey turned his thoughts (we use the term advisedly) to other issues.

"Did I say the weather has been crap?" he asked.

"Just another Australian thing to get up your nose. What is it with this country? The females and children are fine, and seem to be perfectly normal human beings, but what are we going to do with this thing called the Aussie male?

"Look, it got so bad I found myself agreeing with Graham Henry the other day. He said he didn't mind them being the best in the world at this or that, but why did they have to rub our faces in it the whole time? It doesn't half make you want to beat them."

Perhaps Healey will miss the chance because he could not finish a very quiet run yesterday at Manly, his back giving him the sort of gyp he has been dishing out to Australians.

What is it about that saying: what goes around comes around, and how prophetic will Healey's closing remarks be?

"Funny, isn't it? Here I am on the wing. Maybe it's my turn to say something and be sent home. Like, here's to stuffing it up your so-called macho jacksie. What? I'm out of here."