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Home / Sport / Rugby

Chris Rattue: Why the Wallabies will thrash England

Chris Rattue
By Chris Rattue
Sports Writer·Herald online·
29 Sep, 2015 08:58 PM5 mins to read

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(L-R) Billy Vunipola, Tom Youngs and Dan Cole of England look dejected during the 2015 Rugby World Cup Pool A match between England and Wales. Photo / Getty Images.

(L-R) Billy Vunipola, Tom Youngs and Dan Cole of England look dejected during the 2015 Rugby World Cup Pool A match between England and Wales. Photo / Getty Images.

Chris Rattue
Opinion by Chris Rattue
Chris Rattue is a Sports Writer for New Zealand's Herald.
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Australia are the worst possible opponents for England right now, and I think the Wallabies could win the big showdown at Twickenham by a good 10 points.

England's strange brew of cocky and confused against Wales - which included ploughing ahead with a disastrous substitution regime as if it was a trial match - got what it deserved although the standard of the match was so far below the wonderful level of drama that it presented teams with little chance of winning the tournament.

It has set up what could be among the most memorable of World Cup matches, an under-fire England urged on by all that strange Sweet Chariots business against Australia, with a tradition of brains more than compensating for a lack of brawn.

These two teams have serious World Cup history, of extremely close contests in sudden-death games. And England are already on a slippery slide that threatens to see them sink in their own pool.

The bookies have England as favourites but they are calculating with a hole in the head because England have a bolt through the neck. They are the Frankenstein of world rugby, a scientific experiment with an ugly result. Their creators have just enough rugby understanding to put something together with excruciating detail, but not enough to make it work.

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The more England pick the game apart, the more trouble they have putting it back together. As Sir Graham Henry explained, the trick is being able to get players to operate on instincts under pressure. The England team which played Wales reeked of too many laptops and not enough hard drive.

Even at their very World Cup best, before high-tech things like interactive kicking models turned up, England were pre-programmed. There's an irony in the way Sir Clive Woodward has been bashing the current English side, because his blueprint has played a part in the problem.

Woodward's brilliantly successful 2003 World Cup plan included stationing wings on the touchline, but they were there to stretch holes into opposing defences rather than run with the ball. There is still a lack of natural fluidity to what England do although this team is not totally static.

There was a promising England moment against Wales, from a prop. Mako Vunipola made a flying offload in tackles that Sonny Bill Williams would have been proud of. This Polynesian-heritage mix of power and athleticism was a reminder of a dud hand dealt to coach Stuart Lancaster. It was a noble move to ignore Manu Tuilagi after the blockbusting centre pleaded guilty to assaulting two police officers but England's chances plummeted without Tuilagi, who was under an injury cloud anyway.

England remind me of the Blues - they have so many resources they don't know what to do with them even if the comparison stops there because those resources are vastly different. Australia come from the other end of the resource spectrum although their thin playing ranks usually include exceptional footballers. They often live on their wits, and there have been enough times in the last 30 years when that wit has been too good for the rest including the All Blacks.

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Even their scrum is often belittled but seldom truly beaten. Blokes like Al Baxter and Bill Young will not go down as greats, but they had the wiles and resilience to do a great job under the circumstances.

There is one match up Australia won't win on Sunday, and that's goalkicking. So they need to play at least 50 metres from their posts and ensure they are on a wavelength with French referee Romain Poite.

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But everywhere else it looks like trouble for England. The openside combo of David Pocock and Michael Hooper should find easy pickings all over the field against a stiff attack not sure of its direction and curtailed by the pressure. England's fetcher isn't one. Chris Robshaw is a cart horse No. 7 and a captain with too much on his mind.

Under pressure, England have not built up the instincts to be able to move the ball.

England's get-out clause is the bomb, and they will hope to kick themselves into positions from which they will win penalty shots. But Israel Folau is the best bomb defuser in the game, and can be a fantastic punt returner (to steal some NFL lingo).

Australia are historically masters at putting players into space, and there is plenty of it in that English midfield where Lancaster's selections appear to be pulled out of a hat and Sam Burgess goes forward a lot better than anywhere else.

Lastly, and not leastly, there is history, of just how Australia came to be and England's part in that. Australia delights in beating England in sport, and have built up a history of doing so. They pride themselves in not cowing to their old judge and jailor.

The Wallabies will be far more confident than streetfighter coach Michael Cheika is making them appear. They will be more than happy to take no prisoners come Sunday, leaving England on a boat to nowhere.

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