“To make it in rugby wasn’t a dream of mine. I played softball, and we jammed cricket and volleyball.
“[But] I loved having a go, and I think that was my point of difference. The love of playing games and being with my friends kept me in sport, and I guess that’s why I’ve been able to advance so much and connect with so many people.”
Roos is now an established player for both the Black Ferns and her Blues Super Rugby Aupiki side.
And she’s also an ambassador for Mind Set Engage, a New Zealand Rugby mental health initiative seeking to support the wellbeing of players, coaches, support staff and families in the rugby community.
Roos says her involvement in the initiative was prompted by the journey she’s been on with her own mental health, which was rocked by the tragic loss of a friend and teammate when she was in her teens.
She says she still goes through her own mental health struggles.
“It was real hard for my school [Tāmaki College] in the years I was going to school. There were quite a few suicides, and one of my good friends in our rugby team passed away,” Roos told Real Life.
“It was scary. We were young – I was in Year 11 and my other friends were in Year 10. It was a new experience; we didn’t know how to handle it and it’s changed us, and it’s just been a real difficult thing that we’ve had to process growing up.”
Roos says she’s now very deliberate about talking to friends and externally processing her thoughts and emotions to ensure she’s coping well mentally.
“A lot of the time, things can get bogged up in my head and I just get real cloudy. So to be able to share it and cry and let out everything that I’m feeling is what gets me help.”
The former Tāmaki College head girl is giving back to her old school alongside best friend and Black Ferns teammate Liana Mikaele-Tu’u.
“We went back to Tāmaki College, and there was a real bad wagging problem during that year,” Roos explained.
“We were just there to make sure the kids went to class and, if they weren’t going to class, see if there was a reason for that. And it might have been they were struggling mentally and they couldn’t do the work at that time and they just needed someone to talk to.
“We were another set of ears that they could talk to.”
Roos says returning to her old school in this capacity was “a full-circle moment”.
“It was so special to be able to deliver something that I know would have helped me when I was their age.
“Everyone has hard years and hard times, and everyone needs someone to talk to, and I think that it’s really important that people know that it’s okay to do that,” she said.
“[It’s important] to have the confidence that even though it’s really hard to do so sometimes, there’s people who are there who want to help you and want to see you doing well.”
Elsewhere in the interview, Cowan spoke to Roos about her early childhood in the United States, her strong Mormon faith and the realities of being a professional sportswoman in New Zealand.
Real Life is a weekly interview show where John Cowan speaks with prominent guests about their life, upbringing, and the way they see the world. Tune in Sundays from 7.30pm on Newstalk ZB or listen to the latest full interview here.
