Rugby: Ben's bubble bursts

Ben Atiga. Photo / Brett Phibbs

Gaining 20kg was both the best and worst thing that happened to Ben Atiga.

It meant he wasn't playing rugby, something he needed a break from after being sucked into the "bubble", as he describes it, but it also meant he wasn't even able to run, let alone play the game. Looking around his former Blues teammates during a rare meeting with them, and checking out their waistlines beside his, he knew it was time to change.

Atiga will run out for Auckland at Albany next Sunday to contest the Battle of the Bridge against North Harbour nearly 20kg lighter than he was in March. There's bound to be an extra spring in his step because it will signal that he has made it back. It wasn't always assured.

The next step is proving he can still play. The hunger has returned, the body is nearly back to his old playing weight of 100kg and he's a lot wiser than he was when he walked away from rugby in 2008 aged just 25.

"I was always going to come back," he says, "I just didn't expect to be away for so long. I kept myself busy off the field, got right away from the game. I did a little bit of marketing work with a couple of mates, which kept me busy.

I was quite enjoying the lifestyle, not having to worry too much about rugby. I just needed to clear my head and sort things out off the field.

"I think I was getting stale. My attitude wasn't right. I would turn up to games and all I would be thinking about was the end of the game. If you think like that, there's something wrong. You need to take a step back and look from the outside.

"I realised how special it is to be a professional rugby player and how fortunate we are. I don't think players really know that until they have been on the factory floor, working a 9-5 job to pay the mortgage. We are lucky to live the lifestyle we do."

If it sounds like Atiga has become something of a disciple, he has. He is among Auckland's leadership group alongside Daniel Braid and Brent Ward and has already talked to youngsters in and around Auckland about what their plans are after rugby. He wished he had thought about it earlier in his career and is happy to tell his story to players willing to listen.

It's a story that really starts at Auckland Grammar. He is one of a select few - Daniel Bowden is another - to have played for the first XV for four years. He then walked into a professional contract out of school and played for the New Zealand Colts and under-19s. He flatted with John Afoa and, outside of playing and training, spent time sleeping or wriggling his fingers on a PlayStation console.

In 2003, aged just 20, he made his All Black debut. He had had only one season of NPC behind him when he was called into the World Cup squad for the injured Ben Blair and was chosen ahead of the likes of Christian Cullen and Andrew Mehrtens. He famously played six minutes of a pool game in an easy win over Tonga. It was the only six minutes in the black jersey.

He was regularly on the cusp, having played All Black trials in 2004 and 2005, as well as making four appearances for the Junior All Blacks. He also played 45 matches for the Blues and captained Auckland in 2008 but in 2009 made himself unavailable for Super 14.

No one really knew if Atiga would ever come back. As his weight ballooned, few knew if he could. Late last year he was invited to play in the Samoan tsunami relief celebrity game at Eden Park. It was a bit of a lark, but something more serious happened to Atiga.

"I trained with the Auckland team [to get ready for that match] and just being around the boys again, it brought back little memories," he says. "I felt it was time to go back. That made up my mind.

"I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was continually thinking about playing because I enjoyed that week so much. I went to a couple of Blues training to catch up with the boys. I got that hunger back again."

It was one thing wanting to play rugby, quite another being capable. Atiga underwent a punishing training schedule that included two or three sessions a day of cycling, swimming, rowing and boxing. Everything but running. His body couldn't cope with that.

"I was 120kg and I wasn't in a good place," he admits. "It was quite shocking. Once I got around the boys and looked around, I thought, 'I shouldn't be like this'."

"When I first started[training] in March, I was just too heavy to run. It was hard on my legs, my joints and my back. I'm now down to 102 or 103kg and want to get down to 98kg because the game is faster than when I was playing before.

"I had to prove to the union and coaches I could get the weight off and play the same rugby I did before. I wanted to prove to myself I can still do it, too. I still have a long way to go, but I'm excited."