Losing well is possibly the last great step the All Blacks need to take. When today's tennis champions, Novak Djokovic and Rafael Nadal, drop a grand slam final, often to the other, they don't spend too long in postures of abject desolation. When they come to the microphone, they don't confine their comments to dark disappointment and self-reproach. They praise the winner.
That does not mean a mumbled concession - it is a fulsome, generous salute to the qualities of the other side. Springbok captains can do this. Jean de Villiers is always gracious, Bismarck du Plessis was pleasant and generous as well as disappointed after his Sharks' sub-par performance against the Crusaders in the Super 15 semifinal a few weeks ago.
But the following week when the Waratahs won the final we heard only disappointment from Crusaders captain Kieran Read.
Behind him, Richie and the rest of the team looked like they had suffered a death in the family. Yet that match, like many in rugby, had been decided by a last-minute penalty, one of those that could be awarded at just about every tackle when players pile in.
The game could as easily have gone the other way. A few minutes earlier the Crusaders had edged in front when the Waratahs conceded a similar penalty.
It was a good game. The Waratahs ripped into it from the kick-off. The Crusaders were lethargic for the first 20 minutes and lucky not to be deeper in deficit at half-time. But they came back well in the second half. Neither team had reason to be despondent at the end.
Waiting for the awards Richie positioned himself, deliberately it seemed, so that all his teammates could see the grim self-flagellation on his face. It may have merely reflected his regret at giving away the decisive penalty but it looked more like he was setting the tone he thought appropriate for a New Zealand team dealing with a defeat.
Does our rugby culture really need this? It is not a good look to the rest of the world. It makes us appear childish and petulant and, worse, it detracts from the All Blacks' image. An inability to accept occasional defeat with dignity and sporting generosity suggests a deep-seated insecurity - a fear that the team really is only as good as its last result.
The culture has been built on the principle that winning is all that matters. A new book, Legends in Black by 1960s All Black trialist Tom Johnson and others (Penguin $39.99), contains the testimony of 11 former captains and coaches to the power of a winning legacy and the pressure to maintain it.
In a forward to the book, Vince Lombardi, coach of American football's Green Bay Packers, says the All Blacks' 75 per cent winning record is one of the best in world sport, exceeding Brazil's 62 per cent in association football and the most successful American football franchises such as the Chicago Bulls and San Francisco 49ers.
Winning really is all that matters, not just to the All Blacks but possibly even more so to the public and press. A last-minute penalty, a single point margin, can mean the difference between an ecstatic review of the game and a crisis of confidence in the coach, players, the game in this country and its future.
It seems a long time since England surprised the All Blacks at the end of another glorious year. We will be surprised again. Probably not tonight; the team has returned to Sydney tuned up by the Super Rugby result two weeks ago.
But when it happens, I hope we discover the coach and captain have discussed something new. A few generous words would grace our game.
