KEY POINTS:
The halfback and hooker may be fit, but on the other hand they may not be. There's a five-eighths out on the wing, the fullback was chosen as a wing but the first choice No 15 still has a woozy head and isn't quite sure whether it's Christmas
or Easter.
Is this an All Blacks team preparing to face Australia at Eden Park, Auckland, tonight or the remnants of a pub team trying to overcome a massive hangover from a weekend tour down country?
Never mind, there may be good tidings of great joy for all New Zealand rugby men this morning. Word has it, a proper contest may actually be allowed at the scrums in tonight's Tri-Nations match. I see cauliflower ears perking up all over this land at such news ...
Now, I don't want anyone to hold their breath on this dangerous assumption; I've got enough to worry about at the moment. But I can tell you one thing. The wily Wallabies _ who under Robbie Deans have the cunning of a wagon load of weasels _ may have been rumbled at scrum time. About time too, some might suggest.
The Australians' tactic of collapsing scrums virtually upon impact in Sydney a week ago was an absolute triumph. South African referee Craig Joubert was so focused on bringing flow, pace and movement to the game that he forgot the first law of scrummaging: if the scrum collapses, it must be reset unless the ball is at the No 8's feet and about to be released.
Thank the Lord that the IRB appointed Paddy O'Brien as their refereeing co-ordinator. O'Brien's most endearing trait is his honesty: he calls it as he sees it, fairly and accurately. Neither of which you could say went on at scrum time in Sydney last Saturday night.
O'Brien's words are a warning to the El-Collapsos of the Australian scrummage. O'Brien told me this week: "Teams should be allowed to scrummage. It is not on for referees to let scrums go down and just allow play to continue, unless the ball is by then at the No 8's feet. Referees need to learn to adjudicate at scrum time; it's not good enough for them to carry on when the scrum goes down on engagement.
"I want the referees to be accurate; I don't want them to be guessing. But they need to take charge of the scrums, rather than let the players do it."
You can bet your last Australian dollar that this message will have been imparted to tonight's referee, another South African Mark Lawrence.
Auckland tonight could be different. And if it is, the All Blacks surely hold a significant advantage.
New Zealand had a clear superiority in the set scrums in Sydney but the Wallabies were allowed to collapse them with impunity.
That meant their back row could roam and they did so to mighty effect, turning the breakdown into the vital phase of the Test match.
But doubts remain about the Wallaby scrum and if the All Black props Greg Somerville and Tony Woodcock are allowed a fair contest, they can expose Ben Robinson and Al Baxter, their opposite numbers. A retreating Wallaby scrum would tie in the breakaways, George Smith and Phil Waugh, who plays in place of the injured Rocky Elsom, and create in all likelihood, a different game, especially with Richie McCaw back in the New Zealand side after injury.
The Australians have lorded it at the breakdown in the past two weekends, in which time they have defeated South Africa and New Zealand. Once again, this will be a crucial phase of the match.
Deans' gamble to include Phil Waugh and George Smith reveals precisely where he believes the critical phase of the new game under the ELVs, lies; namely, the breakdown. But with McCaw back and maybe a referee switched on to the Australians' scrum tricks things could be different.
One thing is undeniable. If pride ever meant anything within New Zealand rugby then this surely is the moment to demonstrate it.
* Peter Bills is a rugby writer for Independent News & Media in London
