Chris Rattue: Woodward on a charm offensive - you've got to be joking

At least Clive Woodward's wife saw the joke.

Mrs W had a good old chuckle on reading that her beloved had launched a charm offensive upon the unsuspecting islands of New Zealand.

We know this, because Clive told us so at his media briefing in Auckland during the week.

"My wife laughed at that," he informed us. And you had to laugh.

Woodward has what might, at a pinch, be called a certain charm, given his relentless pursuit of anything that bugs him along with the unending defence of his honour.

He's also quite persistent in describing the stony ground on which he is so often required to produce a flourishing crop.

Obsessive people can be very funny, without meaning to be. He has a charm - as in fascinating - without being charming.

You could fill a few stadiums with people who find Woodward offensive. As for charm offensive though, it's a skill beyond the World Cup winning coach, as his wife will attest to.

The theme of his briefing in Auckland was that he was rugby's Mr Incredible, out to save the Lions who were threatened with extinction due to the dastardly deeds committed by the management of the 2001 team coached by then Welsh coach Graham Henry.

It was hard to keep up with the number of digs Woodward had at those pussycats in Australia. Put it this way - Woodward can drop references about the 2001 failure into sentences like Jonny Wilkinson can drop goals.

This might be Sir Clive on a visit to his local corner store.

Sir Clive: "Morning Gordon."

Gordon: "Morning Sir Clive. And what are you after today."

Sir Clive: "I'll have the paper, a pint of milk, wasn't Graham Henry crap on the 2001 Lions tour, and I might as well get half a dozen eggs while I'm here."

Gordon: "Very good Sir Clive. Any bacon with that."

Sir Clive: "No thanks. I'm too distressed about the disastrous 2001 Lions who were an amazing team yet got their arses kicked by Australia to eat much at the moment."

Woodward is the king of the sly dig, because he can't help himself.

And it will help make him the dominating presence during the seven weeks that the 70-person Lions party is in town - or make that the cities - during June and July.

If, for instance, Ian McGeechan (one of his assistants) had been in charge of the Lions for a fourth time, the tour would take on a very different look. McGeechan, a very successful Lions coach, is a charming man without having to launch an offensive on the matter - an elder statesman if you like.

Woodward, though, could cause a war at a peace rally.

His England team was only in New Zealand for two tests last year but by the time he left it was pandemonium. Remember the staid old New Zealand Rugby Union happily sent a video of his Eden Park press conference to the IRB in an effort to get him a rap over the knuckles.

Already he has installed New Zealand as the No 1 team in world rugby along with implications galore that his little old Lions face almost insurmountable odds.

While magnanimously saying that his players would be fresh compared to previous England visits, he managed - in virtually the same sentence - to say they might not be.

Injuries could muffle the Lions' roar, and his players were already busy knocking lumps out of each other, he told us.

"This is shaping up to be a great series if we just get lucky on the injury front," he opined.

He also revealed that winning this test series would be a tougher task than winning the World Cup.

Woodward isn't alone among coaches employing these tactics. And the All Blacks will put up a decent opponent - Henry is more than capable of handling a good joust.

The Lions' tour will put Henry under the New Zealand rugby spotlight like never before, and how he responds will be one of the intriguing factors.

But Woodward is so obvious. He's a driven character who, let's face it, makes life interesting. And it's very tempting to kind of like him for that.

When asked if he thought New Zealand would cope with the influx of British fans, he replied: "I hope not. It will make it more fun if it's not. My kids are all coming down, half their class coming down. They've got no tickets, no where to stay."

And he concluded: "It's going to be organised chaos which I think is going to be spectacular."

A bit like Sir Clive.