All Blacks: Thorn still living his youthful dream

Thorn says there were plenty of digs about his desire to be an All Black. Photo / Getty Images

When Bradley Carnegie Thorn was 14 he had an epiphany, but instead of seeing the light, he saw only darkness.

The Mosgiel-born teenager had moved with his family to Queensland when he was 8, and six years later he was still kicking around the junior grades largely unnoticed.

His lifelong dream of one day representing the national team of the national sport of the country of his birth was looking tenuous.

"I remember sitting back one day thinking 'I live in Australia, I can't even make a rep team in league, the dream of being an All Black is a bit of a joke, it's not going to happen'."

He says this hunched forward as if he is trying to make himself look as small as possible (it's not working) in a hotel in Cardiff, about a kilometre from where, last-minute injury aside, he will play his 50th test for the All Blacks.

"The fire inside of me was burnt out - [but] there must have been something there because somehow I'm sitting here this week. It's a pretty interesting journey really. I don't know how I've got there."

As a Christian, he's got an inkling it has something to do with the Almighty, though those that find themselves on the receiving end of one of his bone-rattlers might find it hard to reconcile that with the principle of love thy neighbour.

Running out against Wales for cap No 50 will be, he says, the biggest thing he has done in sport, a huge call for a man who has played 200 first-grade games for the Brisbane Broncos, won four premierships under Wayne Bennett, played in winning State of Origin campaigns for Queensland and played eight tests for the Kangaroos.

"I've been thinking about it over the week and it's probably my highest personal achievement or honour in my career just because it's something that's really special to me, the All Blacks, the jersey," he says.

"It's been a lifetime dream since I was a little kid. I can't remember an age where I didn't want to be an All Black."

There were those who mocked the articulation of those dreams while he was still playing for Australia.

Matthew Ridge was merciless, sledging him during a transtasman league test and writing dismissively of Thorn in his biography. Would now be a good time to remind Ridge that thus far Thorn has accumulated 49 tests more than the former fullback?

"To play this 50th, it's a positive time of thinking. It's not really a time of thinking, 'Oh, to anyone who's knocked me blah, blah, blah'."

Plus, he's heard it all before. When he went back to the Broncos in 2005, he kept hearing how they couldn't win a premiership with old legs, including his. In 2006 they won a premiership. Again, he resisted the temptation to have a dig.

"I just love winning, it's not about what other people are thinking. We didn't need to be told we had old legs to win a Grand Final, we just love winning them."

(Incidentally, Thorn might let out the odd "cranky" comment on the field, but he doesn't sledge because, he claims, he's usually too tired to breathe let alone think of anything witty.)

He came back to rugby in 2008 largely because he could not seal a satisfactory deal to play league in the United Kingdom.

There was the lure, also, of finally winning a Super rugby title after going to two finals with the Crusaders and losing. Realistically, 37 more tests and counting was not on the agenda.

The man who once withdrew from the All Blacks in 2001 because he wasn't sure of his commitment to the sport is now an integral piece of Graham Henry's World Cup puzzle.

He couldn't be happier either. He talked of his first test against Wales at Hamilton, when he replaced Ali Williams shortly after halftime.

"When I went down the sideline all my hairs were up on the back of my neck. It was a 20-year dream, here it comes. All my blood felt hot, my head was all warm. It's just amazing really."

He still gets the same surge of emotion and adrenaline. He stands at the end of the line during the anthems because he doesn't much like being touched before a match. For him it's not conducive to getting in the right frame of mind for smashing people.

As for whether there's much left in those "old legs", missing the Ireland test last week because of one of them answered any internal questions.

"Every test is pretty precious to me so to miss one was pretty gutting," he said.

"I just realised I'm not ready to watch games yet, I'm still a player."