All Blacks: Cowan moving beyond problems of past to focus on future

Jimmy Cowan was shooting the breeze, chilling out in the shade of the trees after a morning training session.

The hot sun of the South African Western Cape beat down; the setting, in the shadow of Table Mountain, was exquisite.

Perhaps it was the latter that invoked a frank, soul searching self-analysis by the All Blacks halfback. Whatever it was, Cowan spoke revealingly about a sporting passion in which he revels and yet came so close to losing.

"We are getting paid to do something we love. I have heard a lot of people say they didn't realise until they packed up the game, then sat back and reflected, just how much it meant to them. I think it's critical to take a few minutes each day to sit down and think how lucky I am to be doing what I am doing.

"I love Cape Town as a place and this is the 12th time I've been here. How fortunate is that"?

How fortunate, too, that Cowan has come out the other side of a dark interlude that threatened his career and sporting future a couple of years back. Well-publicised problems off the field began to place question marks against his future on it.

He confronted the issue full-on this week, and made a revealing admission. "I am very fortunate because I have played under some good captains. I learned their traits, like Richie McCaw who has been great to me.

"I still, if I feel I need to talk to someone ... he is still there for me and gives me his support. A lot of senior guys in the All Blacks have helped me out and you can't ask for much more. It's the rugby family and it's very special."

He hopes, believes, the problems he ran into have been sorted. "I have another two years on me now, I am growing. I have been through it and hopefully won't have to go through it again. I am at the stage now where I can have a beer with the boys and relax. It's about getting round the right people and putting myself in the right scenarios, not being out at four or five in the morning when trouble beckons.

"Two years ago, I wouldn't have known when to go home, whereas now, if the situation arises, I know to get out of there. It is part of growing up and perhaps something I had to go through."

Could it happen again? He was as honest as he was forthright in his words. "I don't think it will ever arise again but I can't stand here and say it will never happen to me again. I can't read the future and I don't want to say that and then a year later, I find I am in trouble again.

"But I wouldn't think it would happen again. I definitely feel I have gone down a different path now and it was a path I had to take. I had two choices and I have taken the successful one.

"I am very thankful to rugby and the people that stuck by me: family, friends and so forth. Now, I hope it's onwards and upwards. I am just enjoying my rugby at the moment, enjoying this set-up here. I am mentally refreshed after a good break in December and January and enjoying what I am doing, where I am."

A maturing Jimmy Cowan is the best possible news for All Blacks coach Graham Henry. The talent was always there but it was the application and sense of responsibility that at times seemed to waver. Not that Cowan himself is even thinking about the All Blacks at this stage of the season.

"If I look to them now, I will lose focus here," he said. "I am a big believer in taking it just one week at a time and see what eventuates from there. I can't worry about competition for the halfback slot; it's ... out of my control. I have just got to go out and do the best I can for my team.

"If I become an All Black this year, well, I'm rapt. If I don't, I have given it my best shot and I went through the processes. I have got to be playing well for the Highlanders to get picked for the All Blacks. What I have done in the past for the All Blacks doesn't mean I will get picked again this year."

Strangely, he dismisses completely the notion that captaincy has added more responsibilities, more pressures. "More responsibility for me? Not really, no. I don't feel under pressure at all. When I took on the role of captain I made it clear I wasn't going to say too much and I haven't. No big speeches or that sort of thing ...

"I just go out and try to play to the best of my ability and hopefully they (the team) follow and think, 'Gee, he is working hard, we are going to follow him'. I put my body on the line and I want them to think 'okay, we are going to do the same'."

And what of the Highlanders and that image, in some people's minds that they remain the poor relations compared to the likes of the Crusaders and Blues? Cowan shrugged.

"We know we can compete with any team but it's probably that mental edge that is catching us out.

"We have just got to believe in ourselves and get into the habit of winning. That's difficult because you can't train it. This is a tough competition and there are going to be some tough losses. But the only way to learn is by going through that."

A microcosm of Jimmy Cowan's own experiences, perhaps.