Kevin Proctor reveals his life after scandal. Photo / Photosport
Kevin Proctor reveals his life after scandal. Photo / Photosport
Kevin Proctor has opened up about the dark days following his cocaine scandal and the community work that has helped him rebuild his image and his life.
Proctor and teammate Jesse Bromwich were caught on CCTV allegedly buying cocaine from a man in Canberra following a drinking binge in thehours after the Kiwis' Anzac Test loss to Australia in May, the Golden Coast Bulletin reported.
The fallout included Proctor being stripped of the Gold Coast co-captaincy and suspended and fined by the Titans, as well as being banned from representing the Kiwis at this year's World Cup.
Proctor took the stern punishment on the chin, apologising for letting down the Kiwis, his new club, fans and his family.
But that wasn't where the story ended for the 28-year-old.
Proctor and Bromich's actions occurred on a weekend that was seen as another black eye for rugby league given two other leading figures in the game - former Roosters centre Shaun Kenny-Dowall and ex Cronulla boss Damian Keogh - were both charged with cocaine possession.
The attention and focus on Proctor was something he had never experienced, especially during his years as a relatively anonymous player in AFL-obsessed Melbourne.
Jesse Bromwich and Kevin Proctor. Photo / Photosport
"That was probably one of the toughest times of my life going through all of that stuff," Proctor said this week.
"Letting so many people down and dragging my family through all of that drama.
"I've never really had that much limelight because I've been down in Melbourne and there was so much attention.
"It was bad attention as well and just taking my family through it was the worst part.
"And letting down the club that has put so much faith in you and letting them and the supporters down as well."
It's easy to paint footballers in black and white.
Play well on the field - good; drop a ball or miss a tackle - bad. And off the field it's even easier.
Rugby league is not a sport that always helps itself out. The public has become weary of off-field scandal and less willing to quickly forgive, or forget.
But life involves many more shades of grey.
Titans boss Graham Annesley has become the bearer of bad news far too many times for Titans' fans liking in recent years.
But his demeanour when conducting a press conference following Proctor's indiscretions was different.
Annesley read a statement from Proctor outlining the player's extreme remorse and embarrassment for his actions.
Rarely had the club boss seemed so concerned about the player's mental wellbeing.
"Yeah, it was big," Proctor said of the toll his actions took on him mentally.
Kevin Proctor during Vodafone Warriors v Gold Coast Titans. Photo / Photosport
"(Letting everyone down) was probably the biggest (regret) but the club supported me really well and the welfare team here helped me out a lot.
"I wasn't in the best head space then but now I'm really good and in a good head space and everything's fine at home and ticking along well at the moment."
The Titans punished Proctor heavily, stripping him of the co-captaincy, a position he had voluntarily relinquished immediately after the incident, suspending him for four games (compared to the two weeks Melbourne stood Bromwich down for), fining him $20,000 and ordering him to complete 50 hours of drug and alcohol prevention-related community service.
That work with the Salvation Army has become Proctor's salvation.
Proctor has been involved in group sessions where he listened to the stories of others and became comfortable enough that he shared some of his own experiences.
The former Palm Beach Currumbin High student has never paid much heed to media attention and playing in Melbourne and on the Gold Coast has been slightly outside the bubble that many players exist in, in the Sydney fishbowl.
But he said joining the sessions had been an eye-opening experience nonetheless.
"Looking at some of the experiences (people attending their services) have been through and then (looking at my own) situation, it's really nothing compared to what they've been through," Proctor said.
"Putting myself in their shoes, I'm thinking: 'I'm whinging about nothing really, to be honest'.
"(My biggest regret) was just more dragging my family through it and letting so many people down, that's what cut me so deep.
The Kiwis perform the Haka during the ANZAC Test match between the Kangaroos and the Kiwis at GIO Stadium on May 5, 2017 in Canberra. Photo / Getty Images
"Doing that work with the Salvation Army has just done wonders for me and even when my community service is up I'll just pop in and do a little bit and see how my mates are going there."
"Mates" is not a contrived term. Proctor has struck up a friendship with several of the people he has met through his community service, including Cameron, with whom he has completed gardening work at Tamborine.
Proctor and his family were surprise attendees when Cameron graduated from a 10-month course he completed with the Salvation Army recently and he has vowed to continue spending some of his time off from the Titans with the organisation.
Watching the Kiwis run around at the World Cup will be tough for Proctor, who wears the black jersey with great pride.
But he is learning to see the glass half full - and having an extended break with his family in the off-season is a blessing he will cherish.
That break may even be with Bromwich and his family, although the Melbourne forward is likely to finish later than Proctor with the Storm favourites for the title.
Having walked away from the club to join the Titans, does Proctor have any regrets?
"Not at all.
"I moved up here purely for family anyway, it was more of a family-motivated move than to get away from Melbourne.
"My partner's from up here as well and there's a bit of security in that (longterm) contract as well, so it just made sense."
And with the Titans having locked in many of their core players for next few years, Proctor sees plenty of upside on the Coast.
"I think it's pretty exciting for the club and all of the supporters that there's a group there that's going to be staying around for the next three of four years and we've got some exciting talent coming up," he said.
Not that he's given up on this year yet, despite the Titans being finals long shots.
"We haven't thrown it away yet but we can still take plenty of lessons out of this year, myself included, and try and build on that for next year."
