Chris Rattue: Favourites tag is Kiwis death knell

Cartoon / Rod Emmerson

Be afraid, be very afraid.

An ill wind carrying a sentiment that the Kiwis are favourites is blowing towards Eden Park this Saturday.

Here's the green-and-golden league rule. Australia are always favourites. End of story.

They are that good, their record is that good. There are more hairs on Peter Sterling's head than times when the Kiwis deserved to run out believing they were the better side.

On the very few occasions the Kiwis have entered a test against Australia on even a whiff of optimism, the result is almost always disaster.

One of the most famous of these occurred at Eden Park 22 years ago, when Wally Lewis dealt to our brave lads with one good arm.

Kiwi league teams may claim that a mood of optimism won't affect their desperation, but it does.

Somehow, the happy-clappy brigade's message gets between their ears.

"Me David, You Goliath" should be the national league slogan.

Yes, this Kangaroo team is slightly down on their traditional superstar factor. But they still contain the classiest acts in the game.

Darren Lockyer hardly raised a sweat against the "Pommies" - as the Aussie television commentators called our friends from the north - because he was hardly required to.

Lockyer lies in wait.

He is a legend and his desire to carry on playing tests is wonderful news for a sport that battles in the international arena.

But this isn't good news for the Kiwis. Come a close game, and he's the man to break Kiwi hearts.

The Aussies are loaded with the best players in history through the spine of their team. The Queensland trio of Billy Slater, Cameron Smith and Lockyer rules the roost.

Against that, the Kiwis' ace Benji Marshall struggles against the Australians' concentration and discipline. Their coach Tim Sheens - his club coach - is best placed to know every trick in the book to shut down Marshall's tricks.

Call me a pessimist, and you would be right. This is the best way to be.

The Ockers normally handle favouritism quite comfortably, but they absolutely thrive on the fear of defeat. Rising Aussie league players with plenty to prove invariably do.

A message to the Kiwis: YOU ARE DOOMED! DOOMED!

Lowering the expectations helps dull any pain afterwards. And filling the air with negative thoughts increases the chances of victory, however minuscule, remote, impossible, highly unlikely and absolutely hopeless they may be.

SONG AND DANCE OVER HAKA

The obsessive New Zealand-hater Stephen Jones has provoked another fierce debate over rugby's pre-match hakas.

The Welsh whinger's anti-haka argument is not without substance, even if you disagree. But Jones is a master of knowing which buttons to push, and he's quite happy pushing the best ones again and again.

"Mmmmmm, the All Blacks are coming. Time to dial up the haka debate."

"Richie McCaw is a Cheat" can't be too far away.

ADDING INSULT TO INJURIES

Could the super tricky Sky Sports/All Black advertisement be cursed? Rene Ranger - missed selection. Piri Weepu - badly injured before the current tour. Cory Jane - crocked against Australia. Scary, scary stuff. The makers might have trouble finding All Blacks willing to do the follow ups.

COLIN IT LIKE IT IS

This column is picking Canterbury to take the ITM Cup final on the home advantage and goalkicking factors. When it comes to plonking the pill between the uprights, Colin Slade versus anyone from Waikato is a mismatch.