Olympics: TV comedy material in Sydney

By PETER JESSUP

Sydney is finally getting into top gear for the Olympic Games, with the arrival in the city of Olympic supremo Juan Antonio Samaranch and the torch firing new enthusiasm.

But all around Sydney there is comic error, omission and confusion that would serve as great material for an episode of transplanted Kiwi John Clarke's television satire.

Olympic loop rail services were brought to a halt yesterday afternoon with high winds bringing down overhead lines.

Up to 400 passengers at Olympic Park station were left stranded, waiting for back-up bus services after the incident.

The flags that festoon most of the city's light poles are taking a battering from the winds - many are now somewhere in the dead centre. The marathon course has been measured and marked out with a painted blue line, but some wag has added his own sidetracks to the doors of a range of inner-city hotels.

There is speculation about who is going to run the country during the Games, given that the Minister of Communications has muscled in on a corporate box bought by telephone carrier Telstra, and a lengthy list of cabinet members are on the guest-list.

The driver who was supposed to pick up a load of contract bus drivers to start work early yesterday ferrying athletes and media, slept in, causing two hours of chaos in transport arrangements.

Visa, which is a major sponsor and has secured exclusive credit card rights within all Olympic areas, has withdrawn its charge option from the city's taxis in a row over a 10 per cent surcharge.

Taxi drivers claim they are either working 14-hour days or going away on holiday, cursing the idiosyncrasies of visiting foreigners. But not before they charge like wounded bulls - one driver told to round up our $38.50 fare to $40 cheerfully added the 10 per cent we did not know about and put his hand out for the extra $4.

And forget the $3.50 meat pies - they are already $4.

Despite a legion of volunteer helpers, everyone, including them, gets lost in the vast expanse of cobbled paving that surrounds the main venues at Homebush. It takes nearly 50 minutes to lap the stadium, we found out, after being directed the wrong way on three successive occasions.

The security arrangements are extreme even for the Olympics. All traffic is searched by three Australian Army soldiers, who use mirrors on poles to check underneath for bombs and scanners to check under bonnets for guns.

Bags are scanned airport-style and searched by police, which is fine now when there are no queues, but their attention span is bound to shorten once the paying punters start grumbling about the wait to get in.

And yes, just as a storyline from Clarke's show has suggested, the organisers have a big shoebox of tickets for sale. Sydney newspapers have been carrying regular guides to what is left, colour-coded for ease of identification. White is still for sale, red for sold, and green listed as "selling fast."

It could be satirically-induced cynicism, but the locals now take "selling fast" to mean hardly selling at all, plenty left and we need your money now.

Sydneysiders are bemused at the payment plan and happy to see someone, even if not them, benefit from their taxes. Media accreditation allows free rides on all public transport. Train and bus conductors cheerfully deliver comments such as: "On you go mate, we've paid for you already."

All the pre-Games hassle over budgets has had one small impact. Samaranch saved the Socog committee around $2600 a night by shunning the Regent Hotel presidential suite that had been booked for him, moving down a level to the 33rd-floor suite at $2400 a night.

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