Cranking the outboard motor and blasting around a five-lap, 40-nautical mile course is against the Olympic charter these days. "Mechanical propulsion" and the Games do not mix. This didn't apply at London in 1908. The event was even postponed a month so the dates were more in sync with the leisure schedule of the Duke of Westminster.
The three events were marred by gales which saw only one boat finish in each.
3. Tug of war
A quick heave-ho seems one of the more basic way to get a medal, yet it lasted five Olympics, from 1900 until 1920. Eight-man grunt units had to pull the opposition more than six feet to win. If no-one budged it came down to whoever had tugged their opposition the farthest in five minutes.
The British and Americans - courtesy of local teams like the Milwaukee Athletic Club and City of London Police - were the most successful. A hoo-ha erupted in 1908 when the US accused the Liverpool Police of wearing special steel cleats, spikes and heels. The protest was disallowed.
4. Plunge for distance
This tested lung capacity and mental fortitude. It was "bombs away" before sinking as deep as possible over the course of a minute, or until heads broke water. An event best suited for men with nicknames like "Rock" or "Keg".
Only five participants (all-American) competed in the sport's sole Olympic appearance at St Louis in 1904. The winning plunge was 62-and-a-half feet, although how this was measured remains murky.
5. Synchronised swimming (solo)
Okay, we get the gist. The lone swimmer's choreography has to be "synchronised" to the music rather than simply combining in unison with a teammate to challenge the judges.
However, it doesn't erode a sense of the ridiculous watching beaming individuals in nose pegs as they tread water for a medal. Performing aquatic jazzercise by yourself soon failed to cut it with IOC execs, hence the sport's exit in 1992 after just three cracks.
6. 200m swimming obstacle course
It wasn't flutterboard but swimming at Paris in 1900 took competition to absurd lengths.
Australian Frederick Lane put years of paddling around Sydney's Darling Harbour to use by dominating this Top Town-type event down the Seine.
His 200m journey included three obstacles: a pole climb, a crossing over several moored boats and then going under the same. He scrambled to victory in a time just 13 seconds slower than it took for him to win the obstacle-free 200m, also on the programme.
7. 30m duelling pistols
This early ancestor of Laser Strike sounds like a top event to do on a stag night (pre-booze).
No actual duels were fought but competitors at Stockholm in 1912 shot at dummies dressed in frock coats. There was a bull's eye on the dummy's throat. Provided unwitting practice for the events which were to rip Europe apart in just over two years.
8. 60m sprint
Why run 100m when you can do 60m? At Paris (1900) and St Louis (1904) - two of the more laissez-faire, loose-hinged Olympics - the shorter distance was an option.
American Alvin Kraenzlein was the inaugural winner in 7s flat using "one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi" type timing methods. He remains the only track athlete to win four golds in individual events at a single Olympics. Compatriot Archie Hahn set the same time in 1904. The "Milwaukee Meteor" went on to author the book How to Sprint.
9. Rope climbing
Now more likely to be witnessed at the biennial World Police and Fire Games but made four Olympic appearances from 1896-1932.
In 1896 a couple of Greek cats scurried up ropes at Panathinaiko Stadium faster than you could say the gold medallist Nikolaos Andriakopoulos' name.
The inaugural Athens Games included a style component on the 14m rope (L-shapes got extra-for-expert marks). Subsequent competitions were based on a straight out test of core and arm strength (accompanied by flailing of legs) on shorter ropes.
10. The mail coach
Want the mail delivered on time? In 1900 your best bet was to consider employing Belgian gold medallist Georges Nagelmackers. His role involved saying "giddy-up" and then hanging on to the reins of a four-horse drawn carriage around a designated course.
Nagelmackers should have been an expert. As a trained civil engineer he developed the company which made the luxury, smooth-running carriages of Orient Express trains.
