Whitewater park with massive favela in background. Photo / Dylan Cleaver
Last week after being in the city for all of 24 hours, I put Rio de Janeiro's Olympic buzz-o-meter at 2 out of 10. With the benefit of eight whole days here, a virtual lifetime, I'm prepared to nudge that up two-point-five; three if I'm feeling generous.
Brass tacks time - I'm really not sure Rio de Janeiro is going to do a good job of hosting the 2016 Olympics, or even if it ever had the capability of doing a good job of it.
I hope I'm wrong because this is a spectacular city with wonderful people and places - I'd recommend anybody with a bent for travelling to make this a bucket-list destination - but as far as running a cohesive, glitch-free Games that achieve a number of legacy goals... hmmm, not too sure about that.
The geography and topography that make Rio such a visually stunning metropolis also make it a logistical nightmare, which makes the following even more difficult to comprehend: the vast majority of Olympic events will be held at Barra da Tijuca and the military cantonment area of Deodoro, two outposts of the sprawling city that were last in line when Rio's founders were handing out the vibrancy and atmosphere vouchers.
Barra (pronounced Bar-ha) is a long strip of shopping malls that remind me of a shabby version of the Gold Coast. Unless you're into army personnel trucks, Deodoro is dull. It would be a bit like Auckland hosting the Games and making Botany Downs and Hobsonville the two main sporting hubs.
The new train lines and roads that will service these parts of Rio look far from completed, as do many of the venues. We have had these panic attacks before, most notably at Athens in 2004, and the International Olympic Committee has a habit of making sure stuff gets done, but at what cost to this country that is already in the midst of economic and political upheaval?
Local residents, the Cariocas, will be hoping a rush to finish in time is the only parallel it shares with Athens, whose high-priced Olympic venues have fallen into disuse and disrepair.
One athlete whom I had the pleasure of meeting this week put it way more succinctly than I ever could when she surveyed the under-construction whitewater and BMX park that was framed in the background by a vast and frankly depressing favela.
"You look at what they're spending on this [the Olympic venues] and then you see that [the favela] and you can't help but be a little torn."
• Dylan Cleaver was in Rio courtesy of Sky Next and will be writing a series of reports on the city and the 2016 Games in the upcoming weeks.
***
I've streamed a little bit of the cricket here and it's clear this tour to Australia has not gone to plan. I don't think it has been a disaster, though.
This edition of the Blacks Caps have demonstrated over an unprecedented, unbeaten past seven test series that they are a resilient, hard-working team. Even that magnificent outfit of the mid-80s, with Sir RJH in his pomp and Martin Crowe blossoming, managed only five series in a row unbeaten.
We've become so spoiled lately we tend to forget the history of our summer game is one of futility pockmarked with the odd flicker of false hope. Between 1930 and 1968 New Zealand did not win a single series. They beat Pakistan in 1969 then didn't win another series until 1980. New Zealand were so bad Australia deigned to play their near-neighbours once in the first 43 years after acquiring test status. Once.
Between June 1990 and March 1997 New Zealand played 22 test series and lost 16 of them, drawing another five. The solo series victory? A 1-0 win against mighty Zimbabwe.
To truly love New Zealand cricket, it pays to have a self-deprecating sense of humour.
As it is, this series is further proof of a curious, engaging time for test cricket, with no team staking a compelling claim to dominance. New Zealand went to that graveyard for touring teams, the UAE, and drew with Pakistan. Australia and England have been convincingly beaten in test series there recently. New Zealand went to England and drew (and will be inwardly disappointed not have won 2-0), whereas Australia followed them and lost. South Africa have been bullying teams of late, but are getting rolled in India. India have struggled in overseas series, including their last trip here, though they beat a rebuilding Sri Lanka away last series out.
Given New Zealand's woeful history, we should be pretty chuffed we're even part of that conversation. Can it last? I'd hold off on the obits until the summer's out.
The Achilles heel of New Zealand teams have been weak batting line-ups that are prone to collapse.
This team might have the odd shocker, what side doesn't, but with a solid core of Kane Williamson, Ross Taylor (who will finish their careers in an imaginary Top 5 of all-time New Zealand batsmen) and BJ Watling, this line-up is built much tougher. Even accounting for the imminent retirement of Brendon McCullum, if Tom Latham continues his development, Corey Anderson/ Jimmy Neesham stay fit and Martin Guptill realises his vast potential, this is not just built tough, but built to last.
Even when you look objectively at the resounding first test loss, a lot of teams would rip your arm off for a 317 and 295 first and second innings combo on the ground known as the 'Gabbatoir'. Those totals should have been enough to make New Zealand competitive.
The bowling attack was hamstrung by the shambolic build-up as they contained too many players who were either coming back from injury or just haven't played at this level enough in the past two years - Neil Wagner should have made the squad ahead of Doug Bracewell and Matt Henry - but even so, their collective form has been unfathomably rotten.
But they are good players who have picked the worst possible time to lose the plot as a unit. You have to assume they will snap out of it - recent history should have earned them at least a little faith.
GIVE 'EM A TASTE OF KIWI
I include this just to wonder what might have been. Here's Ross Taylor swatting a four and three sixes against Australian offie Nathan Hauritz at Hamilton in 2010 on his way to a brilliant 138. What we would have given for a couple of these shots when he was on 290 at Perth.
SPORTS SHAREMARKET
I'm buying... Acai
It's a Brazilian superfood made into a smoothie that I've been consuming by the vat-load. You watch me if I don't come home and start running the 100m in 10.8s flat.
I'm selling... Twitter
I made a decision to consciously uncouple from this most unsocial of mediums following the RWC (though I may have dipped into it occasionally during the opening stages of the first test at the Gabba). I'll probably return in the New Year but I must say it's been a lovely break. Twitter is a great concept but there's something increasingly creepy about it. It's become the house of endless self-promotion - "Guilty, your honour" - and home to Twitter Tough Guys who hide behind weak-as-water pseudonyms to take pot shots at the MSM. FFS, GOYS.
I'M READING
Serious flaws in DRS indicate need for overhaul
Ian Chappell has become a parody of himself in the commentary box, railing against anything that doesn't gel with his view on the way cricket should be played, forgetting the old adage that there is more than one way to skin a cat. But he makes a lot of sense here. The only issue I would take with this opinion piece is that India haven't used their power wisely, they have used it cynically. Apart from that, he is bang on.
MY LAST $10
Last week: Went back to the well, $1.67 for the first New Zealand dismissal to be caught by bowler/ fielder, figuring Perth wasn't going to sacrifice a lot of bowleds or lbws. Mitchell Starc made a liar of that by trapping Martin Guptill in front
This week: Happiness insurance. Manchester City to beat Liverpool at $1.60. I could live with a 4-3 City win as long as Raheem Sterling's agent is struck down by a rare and particularly virulent form of food poisoning while at the match.
Total spent: $210 Total collected: $175.60
Write to me at dylan.cleaver@nzherald.co.nz. Correspondence may be edited for errors and abridged.
She aims to start a family after the Rugby World Cup in England.