KEY POINTS:
On Tuesday, Beijing celebrated that it was 500 days until the city hosts the Olympics.
And that means, in preparation, someone somewhere will be thinking about pumping chickens and athletes full of roids. It also means Tauranga swimmer Moss Burmester has precisely 495 days to prepare to race
in at least one event that doesn't include freakish American Michael Phelps.
What kind of Olympics will Beijing be? It's possible it might be a beige Olympics, given that the city is often plagued by sand storms, or The Great Squalls of China.
Authorities there are trying to make it a Green Olympics and, while the addition of open water swimming and scrapping the double trap shooting (much to the dismay of Hamiltonian Nadine Stanton) might help that cause, chances are these Games will have the biggest carbon footprint of any in history.
China is engulfed by pollution, not to mention population, and while Beijing has moved industry out of town, cars are choking the city.
What happened to the cycling, tai-chi loving, ping-ponging masses? Biking in Beijing has been on the decline. But isn't that a message for other big cities? Bring back bikes.
The advent of carbon footprints is the perfect argument for a revolution in sporting activity in New Zealand too.
Those who want daytime rugby? Argue that floodlights use too much power and those games aren't green.
Want a waterfront stadium? Assert that building it might be the only way to convince some Kiwis to stop rising sea levels.
Eager to see New Zealand host the V8s? Send them to Hamilton where Green Party MP Nandor Tanczos promises to develop alternative fuel... and alternative everything, man.
Can the Chinese take away the fumes? Stadiums are being built, grass is being painted, the only problem is in the air.
It's Olympic tradition for the Games to get bigger and dirtier (in every way) each time but London, which will host the 2012 Olympics, is trying to go green by building venues out of recycled materials.
So is New Zealand sport green enough?
All the water sports seem okay.
Most of our big sports are outdoors which is largely green. Our carbon footprint isn't too bad. So maybe we should lay off the rugby, racing and beer culture. It's superior to Japan's baseball, sumo and sake culture. Or Russia's weightlifting, gymnastics and vodka culture.
China's table tennis, kung-fu and green tea culture does have its merits, though.
It's only 494 sleeps till Beijing. If anyone reading this is planning to compete in the Olympics, today would be a good day to start running or shooting or buy a horse or whatever it is that you are setting your sights on. Ideally you would have already done that. If you are undecided like Sarah Ulmer, time is running out. You can't be this indecisive at the drive-thru.
It was forward
I have viewed the tape in slow-motion at Sky TV HQ and almost every try scored in the Crusaders vs Stormers match last weekend contained a forward pass in the movement.
While match officials are keen to let games flow, ignoring one of the most basic rules of the game may not be the answer.
In October's World Cup, if the tournament (or any crucial game) is won because a referee or linesman thinks it's better for continuity or crowds to turn a blind eye to basic infringements, then it's a lottery. But with the All Blacks so dominant lately, isn't that exactly what the IRB wants?
I watched the tape so closely because I care. Yes, I did have better things to do. But I did it anyway.
Carter adulation
Hero worship of grunds model Daniel Carter is understandable but the hysteria over a simple cross kick that led to a try last weekend was out of control.
Carter's kick was accurate, without doubt, but incredibly he got more credit than the unfashionable Scott Hamilton, who timed his run to perfection, caught the ball at pace, then beat the fullback one-on-one, before off-loading sweetly in a tackle.
We mustn't let the awe of Carter get in the way of embracing the feats of lesser mortals.
Coaches' curse
The English media have rounded on national football coach Steve McClaren, claiming he's not worthy to run the team.
McClaren is not alone. Neither was Sven Goran Eriksson, Kevin Keegan, Glenn Hoddle, Graham Taylor, Ron Greenwood or Don Revie - in the media's eyes. In recent decades, only Terry Venables and Bobby Robson emerged from the job with their reputations intact.
Of course, 1966 World Cup winner Alf Ramsay is beyond reproach and has the best win percentage at 61.06%. But the coach considered the looniest of them all, Hoddle (who once said disabled people were paying for sins in past lives) is the next best at 60.71%. Not far behind is philandering Swede Sven, who tried to do a deal with a fake sheikh sent by News of the World.
McClaren's problem? Not weird enough.
