KEY POINTS:
How often, when travelling overseas, have you stopped a local to ask directions and watched them reply by sticking a finger up their nose?
This is a matter furrowing official Chinese brows as the ticking of the Olympic clock gets louder.
Beijing residents have been given a guide
of the do's and don'ts while the Games are on in their city.
Apart from nose picking, they have been advised when talking to foreigners not to scratch their heads, yawn, pull at their clothes and play with their fingernails.
It does beg the question: does that mean this is normal behaviour any time the Olympics aren't on in Beijing? But I digress.
The advice comes in a booklet put together by the propaganda department of the Doncheng District and offers handy hints on dealing with the hordes of Westerners about to descend on them.
"In conversation wear a smile, don't stare too long or do anything to make people feel ill at ease," it says.
Points of conversation to sidestep include inquiring how much the foreigner earns, how old they are, whether they are married and healthy, where they live and what their religious or political beliefs are.
Then there's the Paralympics, which follow the Games. Residents are advised to say to disabled people "you're really excellent".
Strolling the streets of Beijing in August promises to be enlightening, one reason being to assess the official reaction to protests.
It is a misconception that protesting is banned in China. The key is what you're protesting against which decides whether it goes off without a hitch or you're frog-marched off the planet for 72 hours.
Three pens at suburban parks have been set aside as locations for voicing unhappiness at whatever takes your fancy _ once they've successfully applied for permission. All encouraging, you might think. But the Chinese are not silly; all three pens are about 12km away from the Olympic Green, which is the headquarters for the bulk of Games activities. So protest away if you will, just don't expect a pile of foot traffic to hear your call.
And what are the protesting options? By all means bring your banners against petrol price rises, whaling or Winston Peters, but best leave those Tibetan flags, Taiwanese T-shirts and human rights banners behind.
Beijing will be patrolled by a security police force of about 110,000 during the Games, with the backup from over 1 million residents who have been lined up as threat spotters, not to mention 300,000 security cameras dotted throughout the city.
Olympic security chief Liu Shaowu has said many security staff would be disguised as Olympic volunteers or in plain clothes to make sure it will be a "joyful and harmonious atmosphere". Officials are sensitive to suggestions that these have already been tagged the "no fun Olympics". But you can't escape the feeling fun risks becoming a forced concept.
New Zealand's first athletes arrive in Beijing next week. The women's soccer squad, the Football Ferns, get the ball rolling when they land on Wednesday.
