KEY POINTS:
It's the biggest sporting show on Earth - the Olympics ... well, the Olympic torch relay, that is. Already, this Olympic precursor has been more exciting than the entire 2004 Athens Olympics apart from the bit where the Greek sprinters had trouble with their motor scooter.
The live
torch relay coverage has been appalling, unfortunately, and there is always a tremendous sense of loss when you don't have Ray "Rabbits" Warren on hand to give some perspective to a series of big hits. It's doubtful if any other caller on Earth would have handled the dangerous new fire extinguisher tackle in London with greater enthusiasm or insight than Warren.
How unfortunate, also, that Matthew Johns has been denied a chance to conduct one of his riveting interviews with the fire extinguisher.
"You must be real happy, what a great occasion - how are the boys," would be his likely opening line.
But despite these disappointments, the torch relay is fast becoming a terrific part of the sporting landscape. Every day you wake up with keen anticipation over what exciting event has befallen the torch overnight.
By far the biggest surprise is that the Chinese Government, with all its vast resources, has chosen to protect the precious flame from protesters using what appears to be nothing more than a Devo covers band.
This torch relay will be meaning many different things to many different people.
Is it still "moving forward", the former head of the New Zealand Rugby Union Chris Moller will ask each day.
No doubt the relay will remind Murray Mexted of his days as a No 8 - then again everything (including a Devo covers band) reminds Murray Mexted of his days as a No 8.
The Melbourne Storm league coach Craig Bellamy will have taken the best moves and turned them into the Tibetan Tackle.
Other more normal folk simply wonder each morning if the torch is still alight, or if it is still a torch at all.
Without jumping to conclusions, it's already a fairly safe bet that at the end of this relay, someone from the IOC is going to have to get up and declare that this was the finest of all Olympic torch relays. It's hard to recall another one that could hold a candle to it, quite frankly.
The problem is that the actual Olympics may be left in the shade. Many of us initially worried about the carbon footprint a fully lighted blowtorch would leave while being waved recklessly around the planet, but the damage is just about bearable considering the entertainment value.
This has been a fantastic battle between the goodness of the Chinese authorities, and the deliberately aggressive pro-anarchy agents of destruction who are deliberately setting out to embarrass the glorious Chinese Government because, because, because ... ummm, we'll think of a reason later.
The odds of the torch making it in one piece or even a load of pieces to Beijing are slipping, the presence of the Devo covers band notwithstanding.
To steal a crucial line from the Grant "Nisbo" Nisbett book on analysis, it should be paying about $23 at the TAB.
