KEY POINTS:
What's your favourite Olympic sport? For me, it has long been weightlifting.
There is one obvious problem with weightlifting of course: It's as dodgy as hell in the drugs' department.
But the trick here is to pretend you are dressed in an extra-tight boiler suit, have covered yourself
in white chalk while issuing a few snorting sounds, then stamped a foot or two before summoning every drop of energy to suspend reality way above your head.
In truth, lifting 400kg is easier than pretending weightlifting is clean, but what's a bloke to do?
I love weightlifting, so I've got to take it as it comes, for better or worse.
The only genuine weightlifting superstar I ever interviewed was a wee Turk at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney who kept popping outside for a cigarette. Some people would probably want to ban him for that alone, but it made him very human to me.
And you do get close to weightlifters on the screen because the competition takes place over an evening, with the cameras comfortably close to the athletes. Personalities emerge, either real or imagined, like a soap opera.
It's not just the pageantry and drama which makes weightlifting so enticing though.
For a start, it's wonderfully uncomplicated. There's no tricky camera work needed, everything is up front (apart from the drugs bizzo), and over the years we've even got to peep inside the dressing rooms during competition which can be fascinating.
Stuff all this under-23 (plus-three-older-people) soccer nonsense, tennis and talk of the Olympics including the bastardised forms of rugby and cricket. The Olympics should be about the basics: running, throwing, jumping, swimming and lifting, plus niche sports that don't already dominate the television screens.
And there's nothing so fascinating as seeing sheer human strength in action, leaving us to contemplate how the human frame can hoist such large numbers.
It is so easy to follow and gloriously free of the psychobabble that infests a lot of sport.
What you quickly remember as the Games unfold is how little you know about most sports and how much catching up is required.
We are often at the mercy of the commentators, but in a few days' time we will all be instant experts in fencing, synchronised swimming, rifle shooting and more.
There were wonderful gymnastics moments on the opening weekend, including a bewildering high bar routine by an Italian. He pulled off so many supercharged, contorted twirls on leaving the bar that it seemed he would have to head to terra firma to complete them all. Yet each time he would grab the bar in the nick of time before setting off on another set.
It was stunning, yet you're not always sure if someone like that is any good or not in the highly technical world of gymnastics judging; and Olympic judges in a number of sports have appeared equally confused over the years. Then again, the gymnastics is brilliant to watch no matter who wins or loses so those judging issues can be ignored.
There is a small degree of judgment needed in weightlifting to determine if lifts have met the required standard, but I've never seen a disputed call, which is a relief because you'd hate to see one of those big fellas get upset like million-pound footballers do. Weightlifting is also very interactive. The crowd really is part of the deal. Yelling and screaming like a baby can get the bar up that extra few millimetres, which is why a lot of weightlifters do it.
Sadly, weightlifting has just about been ruined by the drug controversy. And yet the lifters seem like down-to-earth, humble characters. It's a weird contradiction.
Anyway, reality suspended. Find the weightlifting on television - that's a mission for the coming days.
* Beijing set the standard in opening ceremonies - London might have to settle for putting on the second-best Olympic opening ceremony in four years' time. Opening ceremony organisers around the world will be in despair trying to get within cooee of the Chinese effort, and without the luxury of having an army to call in for help. As for our 2011 Rugby World Cup opening ceremony ... it is sure to be a glittering extravaganza but it might be time to order a couple more stilt walkers and consider including an extra Jordan Luck song. For variety, how about a re-enactment of the Canterbury Bulldogs representative trying to serve court papers on Sonny Bill Williams?
* What a stunning weekend of rowing for New Zealand. It was quite surreal, watching the black-shirted rowers dominating a series of heats. As commentator Peter Montgomery repeatedly told us, they really "layed into their work", and not in the "Laydown" Sally Robbins sort of way.
* An opening weekend Olympic highlight: The fabulous women's volleyball match between Italy and Russia. The Italians made a couple of breathtaking saves during the last point before finishing the world champions off. Beach volleyball gets a lot of publicity but the real deal is much better stuff.
* Another highlight ... the men's cycling road race. Once again, you have to pretend that the field isn't full of dopers. But if you can manage that, then it was a classic race where a leading group of three failed to work well enough to ensure they all won medals. On the downside, where were the spectators? You could sense the long arm of Chinese law and order all over that race.
* What the heck is eating Ryan Nelsen? The outstanding New Zealand defender has had a brain explosion about the ills of New Zealand football. He's got every right to speak out and long may he continue to do so. He is also a sporting hero in this country, someone who pursued a dream and made it to the very top in the greatest game on earth. But his criticisms of the Wellington Phoenix are on the nose considering the odds the club must overcome to get a professional franchise operating successfully in this country. Two Auckland-based outfits had a crack and ended up in oblivion. New Zealand football has been stuffing up for 25 years - choosing the middle of an Olympic campaign to have a go at the Phoenix is odd.
