They can't beat us on the field - so now supporters of the woeful Wallabies are resorting to whinging bitterly about the All Blacks' off-the-field record.

That whining you can hear from across the Tasman is not from the turbines of the Qantas jet arriving in Auckland on Bledisloe Cup Mission Impossible. It's the tired old band of ex-Australian players whose collective hot air is the equivalent of force five cyclone.

They've been at it again this week. Rather than acknowledge the All Blacks are light years - if not a galaxy - ahead of their own limp national team, a group of former Wallabies headed by Greg Martin and Rod Kafer lashed the black juggernaut over New Zealand rugby's recent off-field record.

Martin, who gives the impression he could probably still talk under two metres of concrete with a mouthful of marbles, used Fox Sport's 'Rugby 360" television show, to lead a mugging of the All Blacks' reputation.


"They talk about the All Blacks and their high standards - but are they all that high?" asked Martin with seemingly no irony which is, well...ironic, given Australia's convict history.

"When you go over it ... there was the Hurricanes earlier this year that had to suspend four or five players. They've had Israel Dagg, they've had Cruen (he obviously meant Aaron Cruden. But hey, a lot of Aussies have trouble with pronunciation)."

About this time, another studio guest, former Wallaby Kafer, helpfully chipped in with the Chiefs stripper scandal before pushing Martin off the moral soapbox to add his two cents worth.

"We've mentioned it a few times here on the show 'Mardo', about the standards of the All Blacks," said Kafer, sticking with the obligatory Aussie requirement to shorten up the surname of mates and then add an "O".

The studio troupe then went on to discuss the Aaron Smith affair.

And in case you're wondering, no, there was no reference by "Mardo" or "Kafo" about Australia's off-field rugby record - let alone how rival code the NRL wages an annual war almost on a weekly basis on decency and common courtesy.

So given they've forgotten, here's what a two-minute Google search served up around a few reminders of Wallabies behaving badly....

• Kurtley Beale and his lewd texts about an ARU female staffer two years ago.
• Quade Cooper and those messy burglary charges at the start of his career. The charges were withdrawn after mediation.
• Six Wallabies are banned after a big night out on the snake's hiss in Dublin in 2013 (any different to the Hurricanes in Durban, 'Mardo'?
• And as for "grubs", just take a look at your halfback Nick Phibbs. He throws the boots of opposition players into the grandstands and pushes over trainers on the field to help players.

Spare us the lecture, Mardo.