Netball: Tutaia still haunted by final defeat

Tutaia with Irene van Dyk after the loss. Photo / Getty Images

Two months on from the world championships, Maria Tutaia still struggles to get the Singapore sorrow out of her head.

The favoured Silver Ferns lost the final to Australia after holding the advantage at key stages in the match.

Time has been a healer - but only partially. Tutaia left the next morning for a week's family holiday in Bali, before spending almost six weeks travelling around Europe with friends.

She enjoyed the sights in cities such as Paris, Rome and London but admits to replaying that fateful final many times in her mind.

"It was the hardest time of my life in terms of netball," Tutaia told the Herald on Sunday. "I had a sick feeling for weeks - sometimes I thought I had come to terms with it but then it would be sickening when I realised how much was at stake. It was gut-wrenching - an experience I don't want to relieve. I still think about it now."

Much of the post-match focus centred on Tutaia, as she missed what would have been the game-winning shot with 20 seconds remaining in extra time.

Thankfully, perhaps because we have matured or maybe due to the distraction of the Rugby World Cup, the reaction has been nowhere near as vitriolic as 1999, when shooter Donna Loffhagen bore the brunt of the blame for her late misses in a similar situation.

"I was worried about what the reaction would be," admits Tutaia. "After the final, I didn't look at any websites or watch any coverage - I just wanted to avoid everything.

"I remember thinking 'I don't think I will be welcome back home' but everything seems okay. There have been no eggs thrown at my house and people on the street have been friendly so far."

She also seems better at dealing with criticism than in the past. On the scene since 2005, Tutaia has now clocked up 65 caps for her country and has matured immensely over the past few years.

"It is part of being on the world stage," says Tutaia. "When you lose a world championship, people will want to have their say but I am careful to only listen to the opinions of those who have been there and done that."

Tutaia says that Europe was also a bit of 'me time', after an intense programme in recent years. It is easy to forget that Tutaia is only 24, having made her international debut as an 18-year-old.

The highlight was Italy, especially the food in Milan, though she found it hard to avoid the temptations of gelato "on every corner of every street".

The exposure to several languages has also piqued her interest and she will start weekly French classes in the next few weeks.

Apart from regeneration, her overseas sojourn also served another purpose; it meant she was able to avoid the silly season of ANZ Championship transfer speculation and suitors beating down her door.

"No other team approached me - which was a relief because the whole negotiation situation is not a process I enjoy. I like to keep under the radar."

Tutaia had inked a letter of intent with the Mystics before she left for the world championships but her contract was not signed until last week.

"We were always confident Maria would re-sign but you never quite know until it happens," says Mystics CEO Mark Cameron. "It's great to have her back. She is obviously a crucial part of our shooting line-up and our overall team, plus her combination with Cathrine Latu is important for us and the Ferns."

While they took giant steps this season in making the final, Tutaia knows the team will need to go to another level in terms of consistency as expectation rises inside and outside the squad. Their task will not be helped by the departure of assistant coach Jenny-May Coffin, who formed a strong combination with coach Debbie Fuller.

"It is a huge loss," admits Tutaia. "She's been Debbie's rock and has so much knowledge and experience."

For now, Tutaia's focus will be on next month's international series with England (two tests) and Australia (three matches). The team will be named tomorrow, with Tutaia set to play alongside Irene van Dyk, Latu and Anna Thompson at the attacking end.

The rest of the court will have a decidedly different look, with the absence of Casey Williams (injured), Katrina Grant (injured) and Temepara George (retired) taking 186 caps of experience in one swoop.

"The upcoming matches will be interesting," says Tutaia. "With the injuries, we are rebuilding, and the Aussies in particular are always tough, especially on home soil."

That's an understatement. The Diamonds will be bristling with confidence after Singapore and new coach Lisa Alexander will be determined to make a statement.

The matches are in Perth, Adelaide and Sydney, with the test in Western Australia being played at the same time as the Rugby World Cup final in a bizarre piece of scheduling.

It means that Tutaia and her team-mates will be unable to watch the All Blacks should they make the final but she was quick to send a good luck message.

"I will be supporting the All Blacks and Samoa - let's hope they kick some booty", says Tutaia. "I wish them all the best."