KEY POINTS:
Jamaican coach Connie Francis was bang on after watching her team's wretched first test display against the Silver Ferns this week.
She was actually asked if her players had struggled with the cold in Christchurch, but she could have been talking about more than just the weather.
"It's
different from back home," Francis said.
Ain't that the truth. Anyone who has been to Christchurch and Kingston would vouch that there are not many similarities between the two - in any respect.
But by the end of the coverage of that 44-point belting, you felt like throwing a scarf and thermals at the TV set so often did someone feel compelled to bring up the weather.
The Jamaicans are known as the "Sunshine Girls" but captain Elaine Davis, who has been round the world (including a stint in Auckland), knows the score.
"You can't walk with the sun from Jamaica to here," she said, no doubt a message she'll ram home to her less-travelled teammates before tonight's second test at Waitakere.
It's over 30C in Jamaica at the moment. It's not here. That's life.
What is it with the weather? It is what it is: sometimes good, sometimes not, but someone's always complaining. It gets a bum rap in my book. Go to Christchurch in July and what do you expect, togs and sunblock?
But they were all at it, commentators, interviewers, presenters (all five of them), Jamaicans, New Zealanders.
Bottom line? New Zealand were pretty efficient, apart from a wonky few minutes shortly before halftime when they turned over several balls approaching the shooting circle. Jamaica weren't up for it. They looked like they'd rather be back in reggae land.
A few days earlier, Jamaica had given Australia a real shake 66-62 in the first of their two tests. They lost the second by 19 goals, which was still reasonably respectable. So what went wrong in Christchurch, apart from the thermometer?
A couple of theories doing the rounds:
First, the gap between Jamaica's and Australia's style is wider than that between the Jamaicans and Silver Ferns, therefore New Zealand find it easier to handle.
Second, Jamaica used to put themselves about on court. The odd flying elbow, hip shunt or shoulder barge served useful purposes. Former Australian coach Jill McIntosh has brought some structure and method to their play.
They should try to retain some of what works for them. Lose the passion and a key ingredient is lost.
On Thursday night they wouldn't have knocked the skin off a rice pudding.
And speaking of food, plans to get the promising 16-year-old Christina Solmon on the court in New Zealand have hit a culinary snag.
Solmon has, says Francis, found it difficult adjusting to their pasta-based New Zealand diet. The problem is the lack of outlets serving up Jamaican favourites like goat curry, saltfish, jerk chicken or ackee.
"She has to learn that it's not about her, it's about the Jamaica team," Francis said. That's telling her.
But after the first test debacle, Francis' hand may be forced. Predictions are dire, but my money's on a little more sunshine spreading in Auckland. Things can't get much worse.
And what of the hosts? Uncapped pair, shooter Paula Griffin and midcourter Marie Bowden, should get on court tonight.
The Australians are here on Wednesday for the first international at the Vector Arena. It makes sense to get their debuts behind them before facing their toughest rival, who are led by Liz Ellis, a defender who tends to eat New Zealand shooters for breakfast.
* One day this week, British newspaper the Guardian's website listed its rugby stories in the following order:
'Cup defence not futile - Vickery' (as in Phil, England's captain);
'We can win World Cup - Dallaglio' (as in Lawrence, ageing Roman centurion lookalike No 8);
'World Cup still in sight says Wilko' (as in Jonny the Boot);
'Psychiatrist joins England squad'.
Methinks mischief was afoot in the office that day.