DAY FIVE: Pink Ball test. The Alternative Commentary Collective covering our first test match. The deadline for this article is 7 O'Clock so at the time of writing I don't know what's going to happen. Stokes is out. The weather is holding. Really really really hope we win. But even if we don't can I just say what an honour it as been sitting up here in the Beefy Botham Commentary Box. Watching New Zealand's finest ply their trade at our majestic national stadium. Great New Zealanders all round.
It was never supposed to go five days. Everyone said it would be over in three, four at the most. But that bloody rain. As a result we've had some serious drop off in commentary team numbers. On a Monday Jeremy Wells has his special time with Hilary Barry on Seven Sharp. James McOnie has his special time with Melissa Stokes on The Crowd Goes Wild and Scotty J Stevenson is wrangling a 6 foot 8 visiting American. So for one and 3/4 sessions it's been Mike Lane, Lee Baker, Dr Steve Simpson of the Auckland University Physics Department and myself on the mic. As a result I'm writing this diary entry and calling the game simultaneously. A hard thing to do well. But easy to do poorly like this. So here we go.
We have tens of thousands of rabid supporters keen to share their thoughts. Blasting their comments continuously to our iPhone 3S on a 2Degrees pre pay. 022 1CURLY6 is the number and this is what they have been saying. 'Highlight of the test for me was Todd Astle aka Eric Trump bowling in his speed dealer sunglasses'. Another listener added 'Neil Wagner is so cute. Like an angry Koala who intends to invade Poland in 1939'. Yet another listener or viewer texted this through 'I for one think the ACC team wearing yellow tape arm bands to honour the death of Australian cricket is the kind of gesture that embiggens the game'. 'Watching on Sky with the yellow button. Love your work guys, first time my wife has sat through more than 20 mins of cricket in her life. She agrees umpire Paul Rifle would be great in the sack'. 'I love how The ACC covers the big issues such as Sea Cucumbers in the bedroom and deadly snails on your trail whilst still managing to sing Cat Stevens and perfectly call the ball by balls'
So that's it done. Our first test match. Everyone here at The ACC dearly hopes we won the game. Either way it's been a massive self pleasure.