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Home / Sport

Lions Tour blog, May

By <EM>nzherald.co.nz's deputy editor fights his way through the tour hype</EM>
5 Nov, 2006 07:38 AM6 mins to read

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KEY POINTS:

Thanks to reader Tom Dominikovich who suggests that with an over-size squad of 45 players, the Lions should be renamed the "Lie-Ins". 

30.5.05
Some members of the Lions squad may be giving Welsh glory boy Gavin Henson a wide berth after he told the UK's Daily Mirror newspaper: "There are
world-class players on this trip, guys I want to learn from. I'll be watching everything they do. What they eat, how they train, what time they go to bed, everything." Frightening.

29.5.05
The hard man of British spin doctoring, Tony Blair's former press spokesman Alastair Campbell, has arrived. His tough guy image was somewhat undermined though by the ill-fitting tracksuit he was wearing on arrival at Auckland airport, which left him looking more like a middle-aged dad out jogging than the man to sell the case for war in Iraq. Or even war on the rugby field in Taranaki.

27.5.05
The Lions may be feeling a bit let-down as they catch up on the news after their arrival in New Zealand. The estimated 100 Barmy Army fans welcoming them at Auckland Airport doesn't stack up too well compared to the 750,000 who lined the streets for Liverpool soccer club's homecoming party overnight.

26.5.05
New Zealand's lack of singing ability on the terraces has already been mentioned (see blog for 17 April), but maybe even the Welsh choirboys aren't so tuneful any more. A poster on www.lions-tour.com bemoans the demise of singing in Cardiff, noting that supporters now head off after the game to watch soccer on TV at the pub instead of exercising their vocal cords. No doubt new Cardiff Blue Xavier Rush, with his love of all things to do with Welsh culture, will sort it out once he gets there.

25.5.05
Jafa joke: Residents are disgusted at former Lions hooker Brian Moore's comment that Invercargill is like Chernobyl. Residents of Chernobyl that is.

24.5.05
The Lions, a one-man team, surely not. Their sparkling draw with the mighty Pumas - thanks to Jonny Wilkinson securing 20 of their 25 points - leaves the All Blacks quaking in their boots. In fact, they may already be starting the victory celebrations in the Bay of Plenty, Manawatu, Southland… Just get Jonny to cry off with a sore toe and the series whitewash looks like a foregone conclusion.

20.5.05
After the Crusaders' scintillating victory in the Super 12 semi tonight - thrashing the Hurricanes 47-7 - there might be something to be said for the All Blacks just picking the Canterbury boys en masse. Then again, that's what the Welsh thought the Lions might do. If Henry applies Woodward-logic to his selection process, the ABs will end up being stuffed with players from the Blues who, like England, were also-rans this year.

19.5.05
Amazing that Prince William was lucky enough to get tickets for both the second and third tests in the ballot. As a student, you'd think the air fare would be a bit expensive for him too.

17.5.05
Sir Clive has previously been tipped to take a soccer coaching role with English side Southampton when the tour is over. It is with deep sadness then that New Zealanders note the relegation of Southampton from the Premier League this week.

16.5.05
The jokers at thespoof.com (full link at the bottom of the this page) suggest that Jonny Wilkinson's grandmother has now been called up to the Lions squad. She was apparently preferable to the entire Scotland team.

15.5.05
Important news coming out of the UK: the Lions players will not have to share hotel rooms during the tour. Sir Clive, ever the man for the last detail, must be worried about the devastating effect a couple of snorers could have on team performance. Not revealed is whether they all get a mug of Milo before bed.

13.5.05
Lions fans are getting their touring itineraries worked out as arrival day looms. One poster on a British site (www.lions-tour.com) summarises the most important things about NZ's biggest city in one succinct sentence: "Auckland is all good fun really - always warm (relatively!), seldom any aggro (won't suit everyone), and very good pies... Bring it on!!!" Travelling 18,000kms for the pies, got to be worth it.

12.5.05
Brilliant move by the New Zealand Hockey Federation who hired image consultants at a cost of $100,000 to come up with a spectacular rebranding - changing the name to Hockey New Zealand and giving the men's national side the name the Black Sticks, not unlike the current name for the women's team, the Black Sticks. Rugby could obviously learn something from this:
1) The New Zealand Rugby Union (NZRU) should change its name to the Rugby Union New Zealand (RUNZ)
2) All NZ Super 12 sides and all NPC sides should be called the All Blacks.
That'll be $100,000, please.

11.5.05
The launch of a 2011 World Cup bid suggests the NZRU is looking forward to spending the money it makes from the tour on building big enough stadiums to host the tournament. They can then stand empty for eternity like former Olympic venues around the world.

9.5.05
A Christchurch school deserves credit for doing the decent thing and kicking boarders out of its hostel to provide accommodation for Lions fans. Let's hope the beds at St Bede's College are strong enough to support the tourists' beer bellies.

6.5.05
The challenge is on for the Barmy Army to come up with a dumber comment than one overheard from a British tourist beside Auckland's Sky Tower this week: "That's a big building." (The Sky Tower is 328 metres or 1076 feet high and is the tallest building in the southern hemisphere.)

4.5.05
There is no truth in the rumour that with a growing injury list in the forwards (Keith Robinson, Jono Gibbes, Richie McCaw…) and the Kiwi backs on fire in the Super 12 (Rico Gear, Ma'a Nonu…) that the NZRU will be requesting a change to the rules to allow a three-man scrum and a 12-man backline for the tests.

3.5.05
Carlos Spencer probably won't be featuring in the Lions Tour, but that doesn't stop him being the most talked about man in New Zealand rugby. More talk doesn't necessarily mean more clarity though - at 6am on National Radio he was set to make his comeback in the Blues' final home game of the season on Friday, at 6.30am on Newstalk ZB he was set to miss his last chance of a Blues home game before his departure to Northampton.

01.5.05
Bizarre comment of the build-up so far comes from the NZRU's Steve Tew, who explained the high cost of All Blacks tickets by getting himself in a religious tangle: "Twenty years ago people wouldn't have believed the death of a pope would have generated Christ-knows-what income into Rome." Right, got you.

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