The rather hyperbolic statement headlining this column is true only in New Zealand. (And England, but they’re too busy cycling through PMs to focus on sport.)
This month three of our leading teams could lift World Cup trophies and crown the most successful coupleof weeks imaginable for this country. Or they could not, but it’d still be compelling viewing.
The first with their eyes on the prize will be the Black Ferns, who have to get past France in this weekend’s semis before facing a final almost certainly against England.
In their favour, a couple of bumper home crowds at Eden Park, while the All Blacks do the decent thing and play in the middle of the night. Going against them? England are really good.
The day after the rugby concludes, the T20 World Cup will culminate in Melbourne. It’s too early to place the Black Caps in that match but this team is now accustomed to going deep in tournaments.
In their favour, impressive wins over Australia and Sri Lanka have built confidence, while no rival appears formidable. Against them? The Black Caps are really good at losing white-ball finals.
Lastly, it will be the Kiwis’ turn to try to fly. They, too, look set to at least reach the semifinals, providing they put behind them some patchy form and get past Fiji this weekend.
In their favour, one of the best New Zealand teams to contest a Rugby League World Cup have yet to really click, and all that talent has to win out eventually. Against them? The Kangaroos are really good.
So, are we about to win three World Cups? Or, following the trend set at the Commonwealth Games, are we about to play a bunch of bronze medal matches?
Either way, it’ll be fun to find out. Less fun if it’s the second thing, admittedly.
2. Cup runneth over
Once we get all those pesky World Cups out of the way, the Fifa World Cup will kick off. New Zealand have…less chance of winning this one, but regardless it’s always the best to watch.
And, for the first time, football fans won’t have to brave wintry mornings to catch the action, with the tournament moved out of its traditional slot in the northern summer.
Sure, that shift came after a corrupt bidding process led to the inexplicable decision to disrupt the entire global calendar and take the world’s biggest sporting event to a tiny desert, but let’s forget about that. Like the Qatar Tourism Board, focus on the bright side.
The time zone still isn’t flash for those of us who like their full nine hours, but there’s little I’d rather do on a pleasant spring morning than watch Qatar play Ecuador.
OK, the opener doesn’t sound all that appealing, but in the first full day of action on November 22 we get England-Iran, Senegal-Netherlands and USA-Wales, all in the space of eight hours.
England's Harry Kane during the last World Cup in Russia. Photo / Getty
3. Northern tour to go south?
On the one hand, it could be a good ploy to catch up on sleep while the All Blacks are playing. On the other, if you wanna see something that hasn’t happened in 70 years, maybe set the alarm.
December 19, 1953 marks the last time Wales beat the All Blacks; so aggrieved were New Zealand that they wouldn’t play Wales again for another decade, eventually earning revenge with a 6-0 thumping.
That was the start of the All Blacks’ 32-match winning streak over Wales, which could be snapped before breakfast on Sunday morning. Told you this was a great month.
But why stop the cheer there? After suffering historic defeats at home by Ireland and Argentina earlier in the year, before almost adding another to the collection in Tokyo, why can’t the All Blacks also lose to Scotland for the first time?
Impossible is nothing, reckoned the Adidas slogan. Every team encountering the three stripes on a black jersey these days concur with that sentiment.
4. America, f*** yeah
Your mileage may vary on some American sports but the full fan experience is not complete while completely ignoring the United States.
There’s something for everyone. Cricket fans, try baseball. League fans, the National Football League is similar in structure. Hockey fans, have you tried hockey? Steven Adams fans, you know what to do.
And if you like ‘em all, to begin November the four main American sports are active at the same time, with the World Series set to be decided this week.
That’s a good place to start for the American sport neophyte: playoff baseball can be an overwhelmingly intense experience, no matter whom you’re rooting for. Just don’t root for the cheating Astros, unless you like cheaters.
5. …and a whole lot more!
I think we’ve successfully made the case that the uniqueness and variety of this November lift it far above the other 11 lousy months. Which is a good thing because here is where the whole Best Month Ever thing starts to lose a little steam.
Did you know the Breakers are top of the Australian NBL? And, um, the Phoenix are also playing regular fixtures? There’s a Fast5 series in Christchurch this weekend – that’s like regular netball, but faster and fivier.
Finally, to top it off, think of all the sport that *isn’t* happening. For example, you don’t have to watch the Warriors this month. Enjoy.
