Jeremy Wells column: What I (weirdly) missed in Black Caps' win

New Zealand captain Tom Latham and team mates celebrate winning the test match on day three of the first cricket test between South Africa and New Zealand. Photo / Photosport.co.nz

OPINION:

Watching the Black Caps dismember the touring South Africans in the first test at Hagley Oval brought me a great amount of unbridled joy.

The small fist pumps at the sight of Matt Henry swinging and seaming the ball around like a late 80s Sir Richard Hadlee, the small sniggers of delight as New Zealand's usual numbers 10 and 11 score a combined total of more than 100 to break the hearts of the Proteas, and the small, selfish buzz that the early victory meant I would have two and half days off from commentary duties.

However, I think I have a problem.

Initially, I left the Alternative Commentary Collective studio feeling very satisfied with the result. Satisfied that this world champion team had redeemed themselves from such a shocking start to the summer – losing at home to lowly Bangladesh – to prove they are worthy champions.

But I started to feel like I had missed out on something, there was a hollow void that would usually be full of cricketing highlights I could replay in my head during games of Last Man Stands on a Wednesday night and attempt (and usually fail) to replicate. Weirdly, I missed seeing us getting pummelled.

Matt Henry celebrates with team mates during play on day two of the first cricket test between South Africa and New Zealand. Photo / Photosport.co.nz

I hate to say it but I missed watching great opposition batsmen take us apart and the battle of wills to try and negate the likes of Steve Smith, Joe Root and Virat Kohli, and then witnessing terrifying bowlers like Pat Cummins and Jofra Archer scare the bejesus out of us.

But this test match had nothing.

I know South Africa are in a rebuilding phase – and we've all been there – but I desperately needed an Allan Donald, a Shaun Pollock, a Vernon Philander, a Graeme Smith, hell I would have even taken a Mark Boucher (he was there but only as coach).

South African teams of the past had something over us, and for that reason we have never won a test series against them. They had such strong teams they would effectively select a specialist fielder in Jonty Rhodes. They would have given anything to have the likes of Rhodes on board in the first test where they shelved seven chances in New Zealand's one and only innings.

So, give me something South Africa. I still want to see you get bamboozled by Henry and Tim Southee, I still want Neil Wagner to score his maiden test century. But I also want to be hurt a little – like I said earlier, I may just have a problem.

You can catch commentary from the Alternative Commentary Collective team, including Jeremy Wells, Dai Henwood, Leigh Hart, Matt Heath and more of the second test between the Black Caps and South Africa on Spark Sport.