Stevie Wonder was made to love her. Steppenwolf was born to be wild. The Black Caps are the best fielders in the world. No three-day debates needed, no committee meetings, they're the best. In fact, we're so ahead of the pack, people don't notice how good we are. It's a
Jem Beedoo: Time we caught on to cricketers' fielding greatness
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Chris Harris shows another safe pair of Kiwi hands. Picture / Mark Mitchell
Lest we forget, we beat South Africa, in South Africa, just this year, on run-outs alone. And, yet, no one recognises our heroics as fielding experts.
Backtrack a decade and a bit to where Christ Cares could take cool-as-you-like catches, Chris Hazard would effect run-outs with his thighs closed, Stephen Fleming was the world-premier slip fieldsman and Adam Adoreme the sharpest keeper in the world.
These fellows would perform acrobatics in Australia and not so much as elicit even begrudging praise from the apes in the Australian commentary box. Yet when Mark Bore would take a bread-and-butter catch in the slips or Ricky Punting would effect a stock-standard run-out, William Maurice Lawry and the boys in the box would shriek like hyenas. Jealous, that's what they were.
Backtrack a further decade and a bit, when Sir Richard Hadlee took his career best of 9-52 against the atrociously braggadocious Aussies in 1985-86 at the Gabba, Hadlee himself took a magnificent, catch off his only non-wicket.
Since then, everyone from Matthew Sinclair to Jess Ryder to Jake Oram to Lou Vincent to Scott Styris has been nothing short of divine in the field of fielding.
The only below-par ones have been Daniel Vettori and Diamond Fool, and that's because the former was too busy saving us with the bat and the ball, while the latter was probably off at the Cosmopolitan Club when he was supposed to be at third man. Oh, and Mark Richardson seemed to completely disappear when fielding.
On the other hand, the West Indies are too tall to field effectively. The sub-continental players are too floaty to stop a hard ball. The South Africans have brilliant flashes in the field, but not nearly as often as our boys. The Aussies are a bit above average, while the game's inventors, the English, as we've seen during the Ashes series, can't field at all.
Maybe if the combative commentators weren't busy talking about their ancient careers, we'd get the recognition we deserve as premier fielders.
NZ would be a good place to start.