Beauden Barrett is a chiropractor's dream.
He's obviously a marketer's dream. He's clearly a dream five eighth for any All Blacks or Hurricanes fan. But the thing I enjoy most about his eviscerating line breaks is the ridiculous posture he manages to maintain while running faster than anyone else in World rugby. Dude looks like the teacher's pet, craning his neck and sitting up straight on a primary school classroom mat. He puffs his chest, tucks the ball, and somehow stays perfectly rigid as he scythes towards the line.
You can see the same genetic quirk when Jordie Barrett runs the ball; that perfectly postured back. I'd always thought sprinters were supposed to accelerate from low positions. But the Barrett boys apparently need not worry about the confines of physics. Slip off a tackle, and those guys are gone.
It's fun to imagine how they'd pick teams, playing back on the Barrett family farm. Maybe Kane, the eldest son, who played flanker for Taranaki and the Blues, would complement his size with Jordie's step and speed. Across the paddock, Beauden, the second eldest, would take Scott on his side. Each team would have a forward and a back, some heft and some toe. Baby brother Blake could swap teams with every try. But then - ah! - don't forget the Barrett sisters! Zara, Ella, and Jenna. I've not seen them play but I'm confident they can ruck it with the best of their siblings. With eight kids all up, is it silly to suggest the All Blacks simply turn our entire forward pack over to the Barrett family brood?
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No geneticist or physiologist can precisely weigh up the effects of nature and nurture. Even in the Barrett family, I'm sure it's different for every kid. All I know is that family grew up with rugby, and I mightn't lie around eating ice cream in bed, if my Dad hadn't always done so when I was a kid.
America had the Jacksons.
Austria had the von Trapps.
The Barrett brood is superior. The thought of them as kids, rolling about playing smash tackle in a paddock, might even outdo the image of a teenage Dan Carter with his goalposts in the backyard. And with eight all up, we should wish the Barretts every continued success. Sheesh, Christmas must be expensive!
• Jack Tame is on NewstalkZB, Saturday, 9-noon.