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A good week for ...
Poland's Prime Minister has been caught skipping out on a parliamentary vote to play soccer. A Polish television station screened footage of Donald Tusk mixing it up on the field while lawmakers voted on pension plans.
President Lech Kaczynski, a political rival, attacked the
Prime Minister's idleness. "What was the score?" President Kaczynski demanded. "Did the Prime Minister score a couple of goals or not?"
Word reaches us of a golfing yarn involving members of the Sky Television commentary team. It seems a former national captain who has since endorsed a certain follicle treatment was a giving a bit of lip to a shorter gentleman who made his name wearing gloves.
Late in the course, the masterclass in sledging resulted in the little bloke missing an easy birdie putt. Result: putter chucked to the ground and golf bag hit in a flying tackle.
You're reading the right newspaper. On Wednesday the Herald staffers blazed 132 for eight against the bozzos from Fairfax in a 16-over innings. In reply, the chumps managed just 113 for six, and that against a 10-man fielding outfit as the girl from Herald on Sunday ad sales had to shoot off home after bowling the first over. SuperShorts contributed two wickets, two catches and a run-out.
Some grand excuses have been aired for Brett Stewart's booze-fuelled troubles. A diabetes expert says the Manly fullback could claim his type-1 diabetes meant he could argue that "he didn't know what he was doing and didn't eat properly". Meanwhile, Bulldogs chief executive Todd Greenberg reckons the salary cap is to blame as it means the highly paid senior players aren't there to set younger blokes a good example.
"A lot of our senior players are being forced out due to salary cap restrictions," Greenberg says. "You can't underestimate the importance of old heads. They play a much more significant role than simply on the field. The importance of senior players is often overlooked."
A bad week for ...
Ah, the rugby league season must be upon us. All the signs are there: The smell of liniment, the sound of sprigs trampling down the corridor, the excited buzz of fans chatting around the pie cart, the first sexual assault allegations, a punch up with a sponsor ... Game on!
Grim news for rugby teams visiting Dunedin. Nine members of Sao Paulo's Motorised Police unit have been charged with being in a death squad called "The Highlanders". Last year they allegedly offed 12 people, five by decapitation. It seems the Crusaders got off lightly.
Not content with riling the convicts across the Tasman all over again simply by showing up to play in a Barbarians rugby game, Australia's most-hated man, Sonny Bill Williams, is considering an undercard spot ahead of an Anthony Mundine title fight in May.
A pal from abroad logged on to the Radio Sport website hoping to tune into another ritualistic flogging by the Indian top order. They found this note: "Can't Hear? We regret that, at the request of NZ Cricket, our live streaming can't be heard outside of NZ during commentary on the Indian Tour Games." Our friend wonders if the hand of the BCCI is involved? Are the mob who denied Kiwi fans more of Shane Bond now denying expats an update? If only we hadn't been able to watch it on these shores, too ...
Word reaches us of an unforeseen quirk in the "Hot-Spot" television system. It seems the heat sensor cameras are adept not only at picking up indications of contact between bat and ball, but also instances of flatulence near the pitch. A South African umpire has reportedly been prolific in this department.
The details of Dane Coles' drinking habits have emerged from his court case. Police found the Canes hooker at 8.20pm "heavily intoxicated" and shirtless, standing on a private lawn holding a large pot plant.