Supershorts: King James

Supershorts has always been suspicious of people with capital letters in the middle of their names. When those people insist on referring to themselves in the third person and pour out their heartfelt woes to GQ magazine, it's just about more than we can take. "I don't think he ever cared about LeBron," LeBron James blubbed about Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert. Poor LeBron. How could that nasty Mr Gilbert ever have called yOu "narcissistic" and "self-promotional". Unless it failed to escape his attention that you thought the best way of telling him you planned to dump Cleveland for life on South Beach was a two-hour telly special.

WHOSE DISEASE?
If LeBron thinks he's got image problems, spare a thought for Lou Gherig. The Yankees 1st baseman was one of baseball's greatest sluggers, hitting a record 23 Grand Slams and playing 2130 consecutive games before being cut down by a neurological disease. So rare was the strain that, after his death at the age of 36, the disease became known as Lou Gherig's disease. But this week a new study found that Gherig probably didn't die of Lou Gherig's disease at all, with his illness likely caused by repeated whacks in the head from baseballs. Gherig can at least go back to being known as Iron Horse, but quite where this leaves amyotrophic lateral sclerosis is anybody's guess.

BOYS II MEN
English football writer Dan Jones sums up the not so mighty Spurs' struggles as they went down 3-2 to the Young Boys on AstroTurf at the Wankdorf. "For the first 30 minutes, it was as if Spurs had been scooped up, pixellated and dumped into an unfamiliar console game. One in which no one had bothered to teach the invisible bloke controlling them what the buttons were. As in: "Does X do 'hard tackle'? Oh, no, it does a stitch up the keeper by playing in the opposing centre forward. Damn."

FLOAT LIKE A BEE
Supershorts read with interest a story confirming Noeline Taurua had been reappointed as the Waikato/Bay of Plenty Magic's netball coach. Taurua apparently felt that, with just a few minor tweaks, the Magic could go one step further and take out the ANZ Championship title. No word, sadly, on whether she plans to retain the bumble bee suit she wore to training to inspire her players to float around the court.

POOR HOUSE
A cautionary tale for people who find their in-laws hard to take. Tearing a thumb ligament while punching his girlfriend's father in the face has already cost New York Mets pitcher Francisco Rodriguez (K-Rod to his chums) US$3.1 million ($4.4 million). All-up it could cost him close to US$37 million if the Mets are successful in sacking him next season. Poor old K-Rod, who was arrested and charged with third-degree assault and second-degree harassment, might have to make do with 30 days' termination pay - a mere US$1.9 million.

GOOD WEEK FOR...
Manu Vatuvei
Message to the Warriors: Just get the ball to The Beast - he will do the rest. His three tries against Newcastle on Sunday showed just what a threat he will be at play-offs time. The winger has scored 17 tries in 15 matches this season and looks unstoppable.

BAD WEEK FOR...
Dustin Johnson
What was he thinking! The American golfer grounded his club in a bunker, breaking the rules, and cost himself a place in the US PGA Championship play-off. Johnson took his medicine though, just like a champion in waiting.

THE NUMBER...6
Number of penalties the Springboks concede before they received a yellow card. The stats from the Tri-Nations so far show the Boks' discipline is the poorest of the competition.