Sporting year in quotes

CHRIS RATTUE gives his quotes of the year, who said what and who might wish they had kept quiet

JANUARY

"In league you tackle to absolutely maim and hurt the person. In rugby you want to get the ball back."

- Former All Black Mark Robinson gets all technical as he contemplates joining the Warriors.

"We want to convey to them the interest of the Church and ask them what they want from the Church."

- How obvious. Silly us, for asking. The Vatican explains why two envoys were sent to the America's Cup.

"I wouldn't even talk to the bloody traitor [Russell Coutts], unless he were asking for a ride to the airport."

- Charles Stone, website editor of BlackHeart, the group formed to attack the Team New Zealand sailors who quit for Alinghi's America's Cup bid.

"When some of these people hear it's in African countries, some of them think we are monkeys out there in the rainforests."

- A Kenyan police spokesman nuts off after New Zealand Cricket expresses concerns about playing the team's World Cup games in Kenya because of terrorist threats.

FEBRUARY

"It was difficult to see the scoreboard or how much time was left on the clock."

- Crusaders and All Black captain Reuben Thorne, who had his eyesight corrected by laser surgery.

"The fluid tablet I took before appearing to announce my retirement from one-day cricket was given to me by my mum."

- Shane Warne reveals his drug supplier after testing positive for a banned substance.

"Poisoned by his mother? It is good, very good. It ranks up there with the one: 'I got it from the toilet seat'."

- World Doping agency boss Dick Pound is unimpressed with Warne's claim that he was deceived by a wrong'un from his mum.

"I don't know how it happened or when it happened, but I woke up one morning and I realised it had happened."

- Jonah Lomu discloses all to a magazine on how his break-up with girlfriend Teina Spice occurred. The detail is breathtaking.

"Personally, I would have picked me."

- Australian legspinner Stuart MacGill gets to the point after being overlooked as Shane Warne's replacement at the World Cup.

"It's the last thing I am thinking about at the moment. I just want to get cricket out of my system, eat and drink so much I turn into a fat bastard and sleep for a year."

- English cricketer Marcus Trescothick, on the prospect of becoming the one-day captain. "Fatty" Botham would be proud of you lad.

"It happens every night in a dressing-room. It's one of those freak acts of nature. If I tried it a hundred or a million times, it wouldn't happen again. If it did, I'd carry on playing."

- Manchester United supremo Sir Alex Ferguson, who after an FA Cup defeat by Arsenal angrily kicked a boot in the dressing-room, causing a gash over David Beckam's eye.

"I don't even get nominated for the Matamata sportsman of the year award."

- Jockey Lance O'Sullivan after Mark Todd had rubbished his non-inclusion among the Halberg Award finalists.

"Enthusiasm is just as important and there are plenty of opportunities for young men to learn. A young man with experience is dangerous because he knows what to do and has the excitement for the kill."

- Robbie Deans goes all Confucius/Kung Fu before a Crusaders' game.

"There should be a judicial enquiry into how much speed you're allowed."

- Chiefs captain Jono Gibbes after his side were undone by brilliant Blues wing Rupeni Caucaunibuca.

"He only lets go when an Alsatian or something like that is chasing him."

- Blues coach Peter Sloane reveals that Caucaunibuca doesn't turn in great speed tests.

MARCH

"Two years ago you would have said that there was no way Alinghi will win this Cup."

- Alinghi skipper Russell Coutts after taking the America's Cup from Team New Zealand.

"You know what they'll be doing next. They'll be dusting the ball for prints."

- Wallaby-turned-commentator Phil Kearns as a lengthy video referee moment played out.

"[South Africa] is a country for boofheads ... the groupies are the most aggressive anywhere - older and uglier than in most other countries, but that doesn't stop them wanting to bag an All Black or Super 12 star."

- Norm Hewitt lifts the lid on the Republic - and to hell with all the what-goes-on-tour-stays-on-tour stuff.

"The fat midget is going to get hurt."

- Heavyweight boxer Hasim Rahman being horrible about our very own David Tua, before their clash in Philadelphia. It was a draw.

APRIL

"Dear basketball. It's been 28 years since I saw you in the back of our garage ... in some respects you've become my life, my passion, my motivation, my inspiration. You found me in the corner and we danced."

- Michael Jordan, in full-page newspaper notices, upon his retirement.

"You speak to him and you don't know where you are. He just says nothing. He does not tell lies, but at the same time you have the feeling he does not tell you the truth."

- Prospective, then rejected, Kingz buyer Sam Malcolmson, on the soccer club's chairman, Chris Turner.

"We've lost a New Zealand sports icon. It's a devastating loss, not just for motorsport but for all of New Zealand."

- Motor racer Paul Radisich, after rally driver Possum Bourne died in Dunedin Hospital from injuries suffered in a pre-rally accident on Good Friday.

MAY

"He was exceptionally driven. There was no other business than driving cars. That is what motivated him. He would fight to the death. What you saw is what you got. That was the appeal. He shot from the hip and said how it was, straight up and honest. The sport will go on ... I don't know where the next Possum Bourne will come from."

- Top rally driver Neil Allport, on the late Possum Bourne.

"You had to be in the rally car competing to see where that support came from. There'd be "Go Possum" signs everywhere. They would be on trees, on fences, attached to woolsheds, engraved in the dust on car windows, and flags would fly. There were times you would think Possum was the only person in the race. It was as if it was a privilege, something special and his passion for it never ended."

- Possum Bourne's co-driver, Mark Stacey, speaking at Bourne's funeral.

"Things had just fallen down absolutely badly and irretrievably. The senior players lived in a climate of absolute fear."

- Otago rugby chief executive John Hornbrook on coach Laurie Mains' controversial departure.

"I did punch Dessy and I have told him that I'm sorry. I was trying to hail a cab, I was pissed, there was a bit of push and shove then I hit him.

"All the boys were telling me that a million things cost the Waratahs a semifinal spot, not just my [drop] kick. I think it all got to me."

- Contrite Waratahs prop Matt Dunning after a Mad Monday drinking incident where he punched fellow forward Des Tuiavi'i, a week after Dunning's crazy drop goal against the Chiefs hurt his side's playoff chances.

JUNE

"It's always tough losing to England: you hear the way they gloat."

- All Black Richie McCaw.

"I've had the number for a long time. Many Spanish players have worn the number. The No 7 shirt will be worn by me."

- Real Madrid's Raul, on whether he would hand over the No7 shirt to new signing David Beckham.

JULY

"Christian was a bloody great rugby player, but that is the past. We look at current form."

- All Black coach John Mitchell on overlooking Christian Cullen, who got his own back when his book was released during the World Cup.

"That scoreline has really shocked everyone associated with the team. It's going to inspire us next time we play them."

- We shouldn't have laughed. Kiwi prop Paul Rauhihi, after the Kangaroos' crushing 48-6 win in Sydney.

AUGUST

"I was just trying to make the cut. I probably would have been happy with that."

- Previously unknown golfer Shaun Micheel after clinching the US PGA Championship title at Oak Hill, New York.

SEPTEMBER

"I felt that New Zealand team were a bunch of scrubbers this year."

- New Australian netball coach Nora Plummer gets down and dirty.

"People say there is not enough controversy in netball. I think she is just setting things up for her reign by being controversial and being seen to go on to the attack."

- NZ Netball coach Ruth Aitken replies.

"I didn't know the term had another meaning until my daughter asked me whether I really knew what it meant."

- Plummer after finding "scrubber" meant an ugly girl or woman.

"He was like Superman out there."

- Warriors star Stacey Jones, after wing Francis Meli scored five tries in the playoff win over the Bulldogs.

"Basically he held my hand really tightly and told me to be aware of things in Alaska ... he said be prepared for the unexpected. When I opened the curtains this morning [and saw the snow] I thought, "oh my God, this is what he meant". I really wanted to do it for him more than anything."

- Melissa Moon, after winning her second world mountain running title, on the deathbed words of her coach, John Davies, the Olympic bronze medallist-turned administrator who fell to cancer in July.

"If you're a world champion, you don't aim to come second the following year, that's for sure."

- Ben Fouhy sets his sights on an Olympic gold medal after winning the world K1 1000m title in the United States.

OCTOBER

"I'm embarrassed for the Yankees, the Red Sox, the fans, the umpires and my family. That's all I have to say. I'm sorry."

- Zimmer shame. The Yankees' 72-year-old assistant coach, Don Zimmer, who charged at Boston pitcher Pedro Martinez during a fiery American League baseball playoff series game.

"I am not sure if such simulated training is going to be a help. You mean to say, if we tour Australia we need to have a beer-can in our hands all the time?"

- Harbhajan Singh, on New Zealand training under conditions simulating the noise and din at Indian cricket grounds.

NOVEMBER

"I'm going to be Dennis Rodman. I am an entertainer."

- The 42-year-old wild man of the NBA pooh-poohs suggestions that strict controls will be put on him if he is re-hired in the big league.

"Daddy, I don't want you to go away any more."

- Australian cricket legend Steve Waugh reveals that a comment from his daughter across the breakfast table prompted his decision to retire.

DECEMBER

"It's gutting this whole thing has become the centre of attention, not the excitement of how we caught up and passed them."

- Transatlantic race-winning rower Jamie Fitzgerald, who with team-mate Kevin Biggar was accused by another New Zealand team of cheating their way to victory.

"Right now he is a goner. He will cop it from all the players and no club will go near him, no matter how well he plays.

"If he seeks treatment he can fix things. If he doesn't he will strike again. Nothing is more certain."

- Former Australian rugby league captain Max Krilich, on the Kangaroo player alleged to have stolen around $6000 from team-mates on this year's British tour.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the Sri Lankan captain, Hashan Tillakaratne, has effected a bowling change and has brought on Sri Lanka's exuberant exponent of exaggerated offspin, Muttiah Muralitharan."

- The stadium announcer in Colombo goes lyrical as Sri Lanka close in on victory in the third test against England.


Herald Feature: 2003: Year in review