By RICHARD BOOCK
From former tennis champion John McEnroe to disaffected Lions halfback Matt Dawson, there was an ample amount of quotable comment during the past week, with the American adjusting to life behind the microphone, and the Englishman to life on the substitutes' bench.
Halfback Dawson, an unused replacement in the
Lions' stunning 29-13 triumph in the first test against the Wallabies, attacked his team management on the eve of the match, complaining that the coaching sessions were poorly organised and too tough; that senior squad members were ready to quit because of the "mindless preparation;" and that coach Graham Henry was "uninspiring."
McEnroe, for his part, stunned television viewers during the week by muttering nothing more than "titanium pigment" after watching a 144 km/h serve - which was ruled out - hit the line and raise the chalk.
There was no "you cannot be serious," or "it was clearly in" ... just a derisive snort, and a resigned remark about the composition of the markings.
The ageing process must be making its mark on the left-hander, but there will always be a place in history for his most memorable outbursts, as well as the raft of gaffes made by sportsmen, sportswomen, and commentators over the years.
Here is a random sample:
* "I can't really remember the names of the clubs that we went to." - basketballer Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece.
* "I dunno. I never smoked no Astroturf." - baseballer Tug McGraw, after being asked whether he preferred grass or Astroturf .
* "The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing." - baseballer Dizzy Dean explained how he felt after being hit in the 1934 World Series.
* "It was like being in a foreign country." - former Liverpool footballer Ian Rush tells of the difficulties of adjusting to life in Italy.
* "And with an alphabetical irony, Nigeria follows New Zealand." - British broadcaster David Coleman at the Olympics.
* "I am the most loyal player that money can buy." - baseballer Don Sutton, who pitched for the Los Angeles Dodgers, Houston Astros, Milwaukee Brewers, Oakland Athletics and California Angels.
* "Left hand, right hand, it doesn't matter. I'm amphibious." - NSCU basketballer Charles Shackleford.
* "Tom." - Houston Rockets coach Tom Nissalke after being asked how he pronounced his name.
* "Everybody knows that I have been pumping Martin Leslie for a couple of seasons now." - Sky rugby commentator Murray Mexted.
* "[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse.' I'm not a recluse." - boxer Mike Tyson complains about writer Wallace Matthews.
* "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." - grateful golfer Greg Norman.
* "People started calling me 'Fiery' because 'Fiery' rhymes with Fred, just like 'Typhoon' rhymes with 'Tyson'." - English cricket legend Fred Trueman.
* "A genius is someone like Ronald Einstein." - footballer Barry Venison on the touchy subject of Brazilian Juninho's brilliance.
* "I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel." - footballer Stuart Pearce gets metaphorical.
* "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought." - England manager Bobby Robson, after playing Cameroon in the 1990 World Cup soccer finals.
* "Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." - British boxer Alan Minter defends the ancient code.
* "I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona." - Aston Villa's Mark Draper on the possibility of a transfer.
* "I'll fight Lloyd Honeyghan for nothing if the price is right." - Boxer Marlon Starling on stake money.
* "This is really a lovely horse, I once rode her mother." - horse-racing commentator Ted Walsh.
* "I would not say he [David Ginola] is the best left winger in the premiership, but there are none better." - soccer manager Ron Atkinson.
* "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew." - Harry Carpenter, commentating on BBC TV on the 1977 Boat Race.
* "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got 11 Dicks on the field." - Metro Radio broadcast.
* "On what ?" - Boxer Chris Eubank, after being asked whether he might write an autobiography.
* "For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip." - football commentator John Motson clears up any confusion.
* "He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it - you can see it all over their faces." - Atkinson again.
By RICHARD BOOCK
From former tennis champion John McEnroe to disaffected Lions halfback Matt Dawson, there was an ample amount of quotable comment during the past week, with the American adjusting to life behind the microphone, and the Englishman to life on the substitutes' bench.
Halfback Dawson, an unused replacement in the
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