Chris Rattue: Plodding Poms fail to seize the moment

Ma'a Nonu makes a break during the Investec Challenge match. Photo / Getty Images

If there is a sporting power above in charge of dispensing justice, let's hope it ensures the affluent basket case that is English rugby never wins the World Cup again.

They don't deserve any glory.

Seven years on from their triumph in Australia - when they set their plodding game in concrete by winning without style - England are as bad as ever.

The All Blacks weren't much better at Twickenham - they are descending into a reliance on individuals rather than cohesion.

A sometimes hesitant Sonny Bill Williams showed sensational potential - his test education is under way. But a new stupidity is emerging in the backline - when Mils Muliaina grubber kicks out of defence a la Stephen Donald something is seriously awry. The time has also come to give the mistake-laden, past-his-best Joe Rokocoko away.

Are there people who really enjoyed what went on at Twickers? Rugby diehards probably find this all very magical and any big test contest will automatically get juices flowing. The very thought of losing to England - even if this is a remote occurrence - stirs the blood. But really ...

There should have been an exciting final stanza and, okay, there was a slight edge to it. But this is supposed to be a pinnacle of a world sport, where high skill flourishes.

Instead the memory cells are laden with images of players trooping on and off, boring and poorly constructed set pieces, unfathomable refereeing decisions and England shovelling the ball around so slowly that a 14-man New Zealand team were only troubled once when England bombed a try.

Thankfully, modern recording devices mean you don't have to lose any sleep watching grown men tripping over one another in the wee hours.

Playing at home against a shabby All Black performance, a team of England's advantages and aspirations should have seized the moment and won.

Yet England are still leaden footed and rarely looked like winners. Their only try relied on poor officiating - the foremost chaser was so offside he almost started in the car park.

The commentators gushed over England's early attempts at "running rugby" which were actually cumbersome. England turned down penalty attempts that could have proved vital - instances of an amateur psyche unthinkable in actual amateur days.

With all that money, all those players, they have fooled their happily captive audience into thinking rugby is still an off-shoot of Greco-Roman wrestling.

Surely Mike Tindall should be running a pub by now. He would make a terrific Auckland club lock, but you'll see a bottle of milk turn quicker than Tindall. Tindall is a 60-test centre with absolutely no guile.

There were two big rugby union/league games over the weekend. Only one team out of the four knew what they were doing, and did it with exquisite skill.

The Australian league side is something to behold.

You could see this Kiwi train wreck coming all week as they were talked up in the face of the key fact - Australian league players and teams are better than ours and usually have been since about World War I.

Every now and then, New Zealand get fired up, have a few lucky breaks, the Aussies aren't quite on their game and, hey presto, people think the world has turned upside down. Until the next 10 games float by, all won by Australia.

Kiwi stupidity was highlighted by Issac Luke, who is having a dog of a Four Nations, and might be one of those characters who is unable to transfer his super NRL form into the top representative arena.

The Kiwis were desperate for points and hot on attack at Eden Park. Luke responded by shoving his hand in David Shillington's face, inviting a crippling penalty. He was saved only because the officials got the call wrong.

The Australians, guided by the dummy-half genius of Cameron Smith, were immaculate when it counted. They were missing so many outstanding players (and even rested a couple of legends) that they fielded some E-team candidates.

The Cronulla enforcer Paul Gallen, who looks like he was built by joining a couple of weightlifters together, intimidated the Kiwis early on. Gallen was magnificent and set the tone.

Australian players such as Brent Tate, no obviously natural athlete, invariably rise to these occasions. Tate would have struggled for a centre berth had Greg Inglis, Justin Hodges, Jamie Lyon, Michael Jennings and Israel Folau been available.

One selection change must be imminent. Interchange forward Greg Eastwood has the test class X-factor and the Kiwis need that from the outset to have a chance of staying in the contest. Steve Kearney's decision to start Eastwood on the bench was odd.

A rare meeting of unlikely factors must occur in the Four Nations final for the Kiwis to triumph. Chief among these is the Aussies having an off game.

This is possible but not probable.

Weekend winner

Kane Williamson - a genuine young gun and a great prospect.

What to watch

The Four Nations league final - almost inevitable defeat still beats the thought of watching Scotland play rugby.