Lionel Messi (left) and Cristiano Ronaldo. Photos / AP; Herald graphic
NZME’s world-renowned football blog Goalmouth Scramble is back. Our rotating stable of football writers are offering daily hot takes on all the action from the World Cup in Qatar. Today, Winston Aldworth looks at the dream final scenarios.
As the Qatar World Cup nears the pointy end of the tournament, the permutations for tasty knockout rounds are taking shape. It’s time to start imagining how the final could go down — and what would make for the greatest clash.
Why: An Argentina-Portugal final would pitch the two greatest players of their era into a definitive contest. Having proven their chops at the pinnacle of the European club game, whoever lifts the World Cup would have a solid claim to the title of greatest of all time.
Likely loser: The other 20 players in the starting line ups. Imagine playing a World Cup final and no one remembering you were there.
Watch out for: Ronaldo checking himself on the big screen before having a pop at a freekick; A sulky Ronaldo being subbed off just after halftime; Messi banging in the winner.
Will it happen: Both sides have looked ropey (and truthfully the two megastars are past their best), so it would take something pretty special for either of them to make it to the big show on December 19.
Why: Two of the better sides on show in the Group stages would bring big names, real pedigree and contrasting styles to the summit event. The Spanish are still comfortable with the tiki-taka style that brought them glory in 2010, while the Brazilians are a bit more grit and a helluva lot of dash.
Likely winner: The neutrals — this would be an all-time, gold-star event.
Watch out for: A thousand memes of Neymar flopping about the place.
Will it happen: Decent chance.
Why: The Dutch (finalists in 2010, third-place in 2014 and — weirdly — non-qualifiers in 2018) are playing efficient, effective football. So, predictably, they’re accused of being boring. After the 2-0 victory over hosts Qatar, a reporter suggested the Oranje were a bit dull. Coach Louis van Gaal helpfully advised the scribe: “If you think it’s boring why don’t you go home?”
France, with Kylian Mbappé at the pointy end are anything but boring.
This would be a belter of a final, if for no other reason than the rising tension in van Gaal’s press conferences as he fields questions about the “dull Dutch”.
Watch out for: A reporter asking “Mr van Gaal, why do you hate the Netherlands’ proud history of Total Football so much?” Light fuse, stand well back.
Will it happen: They’re on opposite sides of the draw, and both have strong semifinal momentum, so there’s a reasonable chance we could see a Gaul-inspired van Gaal eruption.
Likely winner: No side has gone back-to-back since Brazil’s Pele-fueled double-up of 1958-1964. On the flipside, the Dutch have never lifted the Cup. Surely it’s Mbappé for the win.
Why: This is football’s oldest rivalry! England v Germany? Nope – English Expectations v Grim Reality.
Will it happen: Germany are bottom of Group E at the moment, but if they score something like a dozen goals over Costa Rica on Friday morning, and if Japan can sink the Spanish, they would go through as top of the group — setting them up on the other side of the draw from England. Next stop: Riots in Trafalgar Square.
Watch out for: Fleet Street newspaper editors swinging between headlines: “Arise Sir Harry!” v “Never show your face on these shores again, you unpatriotic swine!”
Likely loser: Rational discourse about Britain’s relationship with Europe.
Why: It’s odd to think that in 92 years the supposedly global game has never had a winner outside of two continents: Europe and South America. It makes rugby — with winners from three different continents in 35 years — look wildly inclusive. And, dear reader, this final match-up would help me in both of the sweepstakes I’m in.
Likely loser: The broadcasters.
Watch out for: Riots in Trafalgar Square.
Will it happen: The best South Korea can hope for is a second-place finish in Group H, which would have your correspondent digging around in his wallet for his sweepstake slips.
Why: If Los Ticos wins the World Cup, All Whites fans can claim we were only denied by the eventual champs — so we’re surely the second best side in the world. That’s worth something, right?
Will it happen: The TAB currently has Costa Rica at a red-flag raising 501-to-1 to win the title.
Watch out for: A very happy Costa Rican lurking outside a TAB.
Likely loser: Costa Rica, meaning the All Whites would officially be the third best team in the world. We’d take that.