Soccer: Broken Hickey won't look back

Noah Hickey in training with the Knights. Phil Walter / Getty Images

Everywhere Noah Hickey goes, he is asked two questions: what's wrong with the Knights and why aren't you playing for them?

Although he's prepared for it and knows how to respond, dishing out lines like a seasoned pro, something eats away at the 26-year-old with each query, leaving him more and more disillusioned and disenchanted. When reports surfaced that he would be axed from the squad next season, it hit harder than a Roy Keane tackle on derby day.

"It's hard," Hickey kept repeating after yet another training session where he tried to catch the eye of Knights boss John Adshead. "I've never had to deal with criticism in my career. It's horrible to read that you should be axed but I think I will prove that I deserve to be here. I will work bloody hard to make sure I'm not in this position again."

Hickey got into this position on the back of one perceived bad game against Sydney FC a month ago, when a number of his crosses failed to find their target, and he hasn't been seen since. There was little mention, he said, of the fact he kept one of the league's most dangerous players, left back Alvin Ceccoli, quiet. Nor that many of his team-mates were also poor in the 3-1 loss.

In 1997 it seemed Hickey had the footballing world (in New Zealand terms, anyway) at his feet.

He had just been named Young New Zealand Player of the Year, had made his All Whites debut as an 18-year-old (he's gone on to play 23 times for New Zealand) and was making waves with a Central United side that was winning almost anything in sight.

He then picked up a deal with the Football Kingz before moving to Finland, where he helped Tampere United claim the Finnish first division title. Signing with the Knights was supposed to be the continuation of a successful journey.

"I had huge hopes for the Knights [when I signed]," Hickey admitted, "but there have been so many things that haven't gone right for us, on a personal level and on a club level. It's sad. It's gutting for things to be as they are at the moment but that's also why I don't want to walk away from it. I don't want any of this crap flying around and I want to see this club succeed - that was my dream when I came back [to New Zealand]."

Although the laughs echo out around the training ground at North Harbour Stadium and the banter flies between players, just underneath the surface is doubt - doubt about whether they can arrest what has been a spectacular failure to compete in the A-League.

"Yeah, of course morale has taken a hit," Hickey explained. "I don't think any of us can come out and say we're happy to be where we are. If someone did, I would want to have a piece of them because I'm not happy. People tell me to keep going because when I do get my chance..."

His voice tails off, thinking of 'that' chance. When he was handed a start against Sydney, one of only three this season, he tried too hard to impress and ended up looking like, by his own admission, a "headless chook".

Undoubtedly injuries haven't helped his cause - hamstring, ankle, arm, food poisoning - but he's been unavailable for only two games and wonders why others have been given repeated chances despite the poor results.

He's even seen two youngsters in Kris Bright and Jeremy Brockie usurp his claims on a striking role - although he was in the squad to face Adelaide today. It might have been one blow too many if he'd missed out, considering there are only 16 fit players at the club.

Despite his low stocks at the Knights, Hickey continues to field calls about taking part in yet another reality TV show - Dancing With the Stars and So You Wannabe a Popstar? - after his appearance last year in City Celebrity, Country Nobody. "I haven't done them purely because I'm a footballer and completely focused on football," he explained. "Maybe I should have done some of those things. It might have made things a lot easier."

Hickey sighs, picks up his belongings and makes his way back to the dressing room in the company of Adshead. Maybe the Adelaide game will be the chance he needs. Maybe.

- HERALD ON SUNDAY